Weathering every harsh tide
by iluvbooksingeneral
Summary: Christian's need to control gets a little out of control. Added with some other horrors which Christian himself is ignorant of, Ana can't withstand it anymore, and she leaves him. Two years later, the country is rocked by the Steele phenomenon. With both equally vulnerable and one left broken and to fend for herself, what will happen to our favorite couple? Happy endings only :)
1. The beginning of the end

I should never have done that. I should never had yielded, given him the right. I should never have given it up. I don't know why I did it then. By the time I realised that it was a mistake, it was too late. I was far too gone to do anything about it. I couldn't even recognise myself. I wanted out. And I wanted it now, desperately. Because of what it would do to Teddy, I never even continued to contemplate the idea for more than a minute.

I couldn't believe that the man I was perfectly, absolutely in love with, and perfectly happy with, the man with whom I had been living a fairy tale dream with a few years ago could change so drastically and hurt me to such an extent that I was beyond repair. The most pathetic, pitiful and irritating part was the fact that I was still in love with him. I would still do anything for him; and these wild, diametrically opposite feelings were draining all my energy reserves. Teddy realised somehow that I had changed; and a ten year old boy could keep up with my feelings and take care of me which no one had done in ten years. Part of it was my fault, since I hadn't seen it fit to share the details of my situation with anybody. Firstly, I was afraid about what he'd do to me. Secondly, I was ashamed of all I had gone through and was ashamed of relaying it to a third person. Besides, no one was aware of anything being wrong at home. My husband and I were first class actors, capable of putting up a splendid show for all of the public to see.

Teddy was sensitive enough not to share anything of the happenings of home to others. He had no idea that the reason for my despair was his adoring, loving father whom he worshipped. I didn't want him to know the reason either, as I didn't want him to nurse any animosity towards his father and cause a rift between them for the rest of their lives. I was glad that _their_ relationship was intact and thriving.

It all began when Teddy was born. A worn out, worried sick Christian, me and my newly born son returned back to our humble abode. After the mini celebration with Gail and Taylor, we went upstairs, tucked little Teddy in, set up the baby monitor and returned to our room. We changed clothes and fell on the bed, exhausted. I snuggled against him and he put an arm around me. He seemed a tad uncomfortable. "What is it, babe?" I asked him sleepily. He didn't respond for a few seconds.

"Are you tired?" he asked me warily. Of course I was.

"Not at all. What is it?" I replied. He fidgeted and abruptly sat up. I sat up too, worriedly looking at him. "Christian?" I ventured.

"I can't stand it, Ana. It's not possible by me to sit back and simply let things happen. I can't leave things be!" he exclaimed, frustrated. I was utterly bewildered.

"Huh?" I said intelligently, looking at him blankly.

"Ana, every time you don't listen to what I say, you get into trouble and cause everyone around a lot of anguish. Not that I am blaming you," he said hastily, seeing me frown and opening my mouth to protest. "It's just that if you were to listen to me in the first place, we wouldn't have to go through anything at all. Do you understand me?" he looked at me, upset, running his hand through his hair. There was silence for some time as Christian shifted uncomfortably, clearly disturbed.

"What do you want me to do, Christian?" I asked finally, cautiously. I already knew what I was to hear.

"I need control, Ana. Let me do things for you. It will be hell of a lot simpler, then. Fuck, we wouldn't have any trouble at all. I can't function without control. It's an integral part of me. I need it like a fish needs water. It is essential for me…" he continued like this agitatedly for about twenty minutes ending with, "… so frankly, I need control of you and everything around you to keep you safe."

I took a deep breath tiredly and gave him an exasperated look. "Alright. Whatever you want, Christian." He looked at me incredulously and, after a couple of seconds gave me a slow exultant smile.

Then the horrors began. He began to control my daily schedule, where I went, what I did every minute of the day. I wasn't allowed to work, but to care for Teddy full time – no questions asked. He denied me permission to do things what I wanted to do most. Each time I got angry or depressed at this tyranny, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. 'For Christian.' I muttered to myself. Somewhere along the way, I realised that he was squashing my every fantasy, every dream, and every _opinion._

Everything happened his way, or it didn't happen at all. I could either drive with Sawyer, or not at all. I could either call my parents only and not meet them, or not at all remain in contact with them. By this time, the realisation had dawned on me too late. I had withered away to becoming a shadow of the person I once was. My self-confidence, my ability to stand on my own two feet, my ability to have an opinion, my ability to stand up for myself had all long since been destroyed. I could not find the strength to put my foot down, to stand proud and tall in front of him. So I continued in the same manner.

About three years ago, he stopped coming home early. He stopped spending quality time with me. He took Teddy out frequently and Teddy usually thoroughly enjoyed these Father – Son bonding time. I wasn't even allowed to complain; else a few effectively harsh words would leave my spirit broken. We stopped having sex, even though it had been entirely for his pleasure before. I started smelling alcohol on him every night for weeks together. That was when the arguments began. We argued and verbally fought with each other day and night. Although this should have increased my courage and revived my spirit, I only got worse and worse.

One night, he came home slamming the front door at 2 in the morning. I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. I sat on the bed waiting for him to arrive. When he did, he threw me a look of disgust and threw his shirt at me after unbuttoning it.

"Christian!" I said, appalled. "Where were you?" I demanded. Then he did something I never expected him to do in my entire life. He struck me. I was shocked to silence. Before I could recover, he struck me once again. Aware of Teddy sleeping down the hall, I only sucked in my breath sharply. He removed his trousers and tackled me on the bed. I struggled and whispered pleas which he didn't deem to hear or register. I started panicking and my breaths came out shorter and faster as he readied himself. He fucked me thoroughly. For the first time, I knew what it was to be raped, by one's own husband. After he was satisfied, he flopped on the bed and went to sleep. Just like that.

The next morning, he gave no sign of being aware of the events of last night. I was terrified of his every move. I felt endangered in my own home. I was sore all over all day. When he returned home late again, the previous night's events were repeated. I was in a daze. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be, I told myself. It was a dream where eventually I would wake up. I never did. As the years passed, the physical assaults increased and I bought more and more make up to hide the scars from Teddy and everyone else.


	2. The End

"Teddy, eat up your breakfast, please." I begged. My son looked up at me sharply, taking note of my tone. He nodded and quickly gulped down the cereal. Gail picked up the dishes and put them away. Teddy climbed out of his chair and came to me. He kissed me on the cheek and I reciprocated. "Be good." I told him.

"Take care, mom." He told me. I simply smiled. He picked up his bag and followed Sawyer out of the door to go to school. I mechanically stood up and started tidying anything in front of my eyes. Gail was washing the dishes.

"Mrs Grey?" she said hesitantly. I sighed.

"Gail, Christian isn't here. You can call me Ana." I reminded her. Christian despised me becoming close to any of the staff. I saw her smile.

"Ana, then. I don't know how to say this, or how you'll receive it. I… it is not my place to be making such statements." She seemed really nervous. I saw her fidgeting with the cloth in her hand. I breathed deeply.

"What is it, Gail?" She stepped out of the kitchen and approached me. She looked at me with wide pleading eyes.

"Ana, living in the same house as you, I am privy to some of the goings on between you and Mr Grey. I can't tell you how sorry I am and how disappointed in Mr Grey. I never expected your marriage to take this turn. All I am saying is, if you need someone to talk to, open up to, I am right here."

I gulped and blinked a couple of times, staring at her. Afraid of fucking security cameras, I muttered, "Thank you." I turned away and ran upstairs, afraid of an emotional outburst and somehow found myself locked up in the first room I could find – Christian's study. I locked the door and squeezed my eyes shut, a few tears escaping them. I then looked around the room, remembering all the happy memories they contained. I walked over to his table and despondently went around it. Surprisingly, I found his computer on. My eyebrows shot up. I dragged the chair-on-wheels towards me and sat down, suddenly curious.

I clicked on the opened browser window and saw that his mails were open. I clicked on the most recent one, from a Lucy Hale. The mail was a life changer.

Hey, Baby

I am sorry I can't come to the office today. I have to attend some fucking charity function, although I would rather be fucking you. And listen, don't worry about you loss of memory in the morning. It's just that we're both dog tired. What with your wife and all. You poor baby. Why can't she just fucking leave you alone?

I'll see you the day after.

Forever yours,

Luce XOXO

I don't know for how long I just sat there, reading and re reading the mail, again and again. Hoping it would disappear the next second. Hoping all of this was a lie. I sat there drowning in a whirlwind of my own making, the news refusing to sink in to my brain. My subconscious stood up and gave me a sympathetic look. It's actually happening. Believe it, she seemed to say. But I couldn't. I needed confirmation. I needed proof. I needed it from the man in question himself.

I stood up, my head reeling from this discovery. My eyes were fixed on the mail. The line _why can't she fucking leave you alone? _Seemed to pop out of the screen and swim in front of my eyes. Enraged, I picked up the nearest thing on his desk – a stapler – and threw it at the computer screen. It shattered into am million pieces, making some parts of my skin bleed. I didn't care, because something more important of mine was bleeding – My heart.

I strode out of the room, grabbed my mobile phone and my purse and ran down the stairs. Midway, I realised that I had to be prepared for the most possible outcome. I went back to my room and packed everything that rightfully belonged to me. That excluded the obscenely expensive dresses, shoes, purses etc. I removed my wedding and engagement rings and my charm bracelet and placed it on the dresser. I yanked the suitcase downstairs. I opened the door and Sawyer appeared out of nowhere. "Luke. Take me to my husband's office." I said tightly. He nodded and pulled up the car.

"If you tell Taylor or anyone else that I am going there, by God, I will not be responsible for my actions." I said in a low voice. He gave me a frightened look and nodded tersely. As we rode past those huge bungalows of my locality, I picked up my phone and booked a flight to Florida in the next two hours. Sawyer cast me a worried look. I ignored him.

I had given Christian the best years of my life. I had given him my heart, body and soul. And a child. What more could he have wanted from me? What did I not give him that he had to run to another woman to get? Why had he betrayed my trust, despite the rifts between us?

To call mine a good marriage was impossible. It was anything but that. I remembered each and every slap, each strike and each punch. I remembered all of his night time exploits with me. It slowly dawned on me – even through my anger – that this might be good for me. This was the last straw, the last nail in the coffin. I could not tolerate anymore. I could not put up with him anymore. I was done, if he confirmed my suspicions.

As I was thinking all this and looking out of the window, GEH arrived. I quickly got out of the car and asked Sawyer to wait for me. I stepped inside the elevator and rode with three blondes. One of them smiled at me and asked, "Are you here for the interview?"

I frostily looked at her and said, "I am the wife of Christian Grey. Take care not to insult me right now." The three looked at me, gaping. As soon as Christian's floor arrived, I stepped out of the elevator and headed to his office. I saw Andrea and said, "Andrea, I am here to see my husband." I walked right through the doors, despite her protests.

It did not occur to me until later that I had barged into a meeting. My eyes were only for Christian. When I saw him, pure white, hot rage filled me. I went mad. Christian looked up with surprise, annoyance and then anger.

"Ana," he coolly acknowledged me. "We're in the middle of a-"

"I do not care, Christian. For the first time, I don't care." I interrupted him, loudly. "I just wanted a tiny confirmation from you. Just reply with a simple yes or no. Can you do that?" I repeated the line he had sarcastically delivered to me all these years. Christian looked at me with disbelief. He quickly gathered his wits and began, "Ana, now is not the-"

"It is." I laughed. "There is no better time than now. I was walking through your study, when I saw a certain email from a Lucy Hale." I saw him flinch. Encouraged, I went on. "_I would rather be fucking you, baby. What is it with your wife? Why can't she just leave you alone?"_ I mimicked in a high pitched voice. "So, my question is, are you having an affair with another woman?"

Christian stood up angrily. "Ana, get out, now. We'll talk about this later, at home."

"That's the thing, Christian. I don't even know whether you come home. Is it a yes or a no, Christian?" I asked with a penetrating gaze. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Look, Ana-"he began. I took a step towards him. He stopped talking.

"Affirmative," I whispered. With all the energy I possessed, I lifted my hand and smacked him right across the face. "You son of a bitch!" I hissed. For the first time, I looked around and saw many an amused and shocked glance directed at me. "Excuse me, gentlemen. Forgive me for this interruption. You may continue your meeting." With that, I went out of his room and ran down the stairs. Tears had escaped my eyes now. I was devastated. He could have just told me that I wasn't enough for him. He could've just put me out of his life instead of grabbing my heart, caressing it, soothing it, then squeezing the life out of it. I darted to the car and climbed in. "To the Airport, Sawyer." I sniffled.

As we rode on, I cried continuously about my present predicament, when, to my greatest horror, I realised that I had forgotten about Teddy. Horror, because I had failed to take count of the only important thing in my life. I gasped loudly.

"Mrs Grey?" Sawyer asked, worriedly.

"Call up Teddy's school and hand over the phone to me when he's on line." I told him, sobbing. Within minutes, Sawyer handed me the phone.

"Teddy?" I whispered.

"Mom? Why have you called me in school?" came hi juvenile, innocent voice. I could almost see him frown and his nose scrunched up in confusion. This brought out a fresh wave of hysteria. I pulled myself together. _For Teddy, _I told myself.

"Teddy, listen to me. Mommy is going away on a trip for some time. I promise you, I am going to be back as soon as possible and come to you, okay? I'll miss you so much, baby boy. But until then, you have to stay with daddy." I said, struggling to control my emotions. I heard him gasp on the other end.

"Mommy! Where are you going?! Don't leave me, please!" he begged. I almost turned back and ran to him. I choked back a sob and swallowed the bile in my throat.

"I am sorry, Theo. I am so, so sorry. I swear on god I will come and get you one day. Until then, don't say a word to anybody, okay? Please, Teddy, do this for me. Be good." I pleaded with him. He seemed to have quickly resigned to his fate. I heard him crying on the other end.

"Okay. Bye, mommy." He said.

"Goodbye, baby boy." I said and ended the call. A fresh wave of sadness enveloped me. Slowly, like Teddy, I too resigned to my fate and decided to face the future and not look back again. One could actually see the determination overcoming me. My spine straightened. My face was devoid of any emotion. I literally shrugged to put all my miseries behind me. A new chapter in my life had just begun and this time, I was not going to let any opportunity slip through my hands.


	3. Rebound

**IT'S SPLITSVILLE FOR THE GREYS!**

Seattle, Washington: One of the country's most dazzling and favourite couples, Christian and Anastasia Grey, are going to break the hearts as well as bring about hope in the minds of thousands in the country, by going through a divorce. The press is hugely disappointed as the reason for the divorce has not been disclosed. When the divorcees' kith and kin were questioned, they expressed their agitation at being in the dark about the reason too. Gold digging men might rest without much agitation as sources say that the now Ms Anastasia Steele has refused to take a penny extra than what she entered the marriage with (which is actually not much) in the divorce settlement. Unfortunately for the society, they declined to host a divorce party. The son, Theodore Grey rests in the sole and able custody of Ms Steele.

**PATERNAL STREAK IN RUTHLESS ENTRERENEUR?**

Recently divorced Christian Grey was spotted in his yatch, The Grace, with his son Theodore. The pair seemed to be spending a happy and relieved time with each other, content that mama bear had seen it fit to allow her son to spend time with his father. Rumour has it that Mr Grey invited Ms Steele on this outing but she forcefully declined the generous invitation. Mr Grey's loving gestures gave hope to his employees that he might possess a heart after all…

**SEATTLE BUSINESS TYCOON'S EX TAKES OVER JACKSONVILLE PUBLISHING**

Jacksonville, Florida: The recently divorced ex-wife of the one of the country's most eligible bachelors, Christian Grey, has apparently some entrepreneurial tricks up her sleeve. Within 8 months, Anastasia Steele has managed to reach the board of directors of Florida Publishing, one of the country's best publishing companies and has stealthily taken over the company. Since her coming to a senior position, the company has thrived under her careful, motherly hands.

**MERGERS AND ACQUISITIONS NOT RESTRICTED TO GREY**

Jacksonville, Florida: Ms Anastasia Steele is giving Christian Grey a run for his money through her vengeful streak of acquisitions, rapid decision making and ruthless slaughtering of companies by her hard-hearted CEO self. So far, Ms Steele has managed to expand her company by buying out 6 top notch publishing companies of the United States. Sources say that Ms Steele is planning a takeover of Grey Publishing. Watch it, Ms Steele. You may be going too close to the sun.

**SHE HAS DONE IT!**

Former Mrs Anastasia Grey has viciously taken over the failing company, Grey Publishing. The reporter who had earlier delivered a snarky comment in a recent article sends heartfelt apologies for underestimating her capacity. Word is that Mr Grey didn't let go of his company without a stiff battle, but the adamant Ms Steele refused to increase a penny in the deal.

**ANASTASIA STEELE LISTED IN TIMES 100 MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN**

Jacksonville, Florida: It doesn't come as a surprise to anyone that Anastasia Steele, newly emerged business tycoon ranks 28 in Times 100 most influential women. Within the span of two years, she has managed to bring her publishing company to rank number one in the world. She has also expanded her business to various fields which are all ranked in admirable positions. She is officially the 8th richest person in the United States. With such an inspiring personality, who better is suited to proudly sit on that famed list?

_Please Review! _


	4. Birthday

**I wanted to make a tiny clarification. Christian has been cheating on Ana for the final three years of their marriage. That is about the time all the assaults take place. The rest of the time, she just finds it hard to breathe, but to a great extent.**

"Stella!" Ana barked, buzzing my assistant in the intercom. "The documents for the Johnson acquisition!" She heard her squeak once and say, "Yes, Ma'am."

The brunette scurried inside Ana's office after knocking and placed the documents on her table. "That will do, Stella." She said, not even looking at her. Stella left the room.

Ana groaned at the amount of work there was to complete, the number of deadlines to meet. Of course, all the deadlines were self-made, but she was obligated to finish up some of them to reciprocate with the other participating companies in certain deals. She was to buy a major share of a well-known sports line, and they were proving to be a little difficult. One interaction with her, and all of the 'difficulties' would be cleared up.

She was known as the shark, which bit into its victim and didn't let go until it had had its fill. The shark which attacked unsuspecting clients; the shark which left all people around her with jelly knees and sweaty faces. She usually left the person she was conversing with stuttering for words and stumbling over profuse apologies. One glare of hers would silence the entire company and make them stand in attention, leaving anything they were doing.

She didn't understand where this other side of her personality emanated from. But the moment she was in charge of a team of workers, the 'leader' side of her sprang into action.

This period of two years was where her subconscious played a big role. Her inner goddess, on the other hand, was dead for all she cared. The only time she stirred in her coffin was when Ana thought about the man who still ruled her heart. She remembered the last time she was in his presence…

_Two years ago:_

_Ana was on a tight schedule. She had landed in Seattle and was supposed to return the same day. She had already informed Teddy of her arrival, so he would be packed and prepared. She wondered whether she shouldn't carry anything with her, lest she use that to cause him grievous bodily injuries. She was still enraged and there was no way in hell she could keep a calm façade in front of him._

_She reached Grey House. The moment she entered the building, a hush fell over the place. Slowly, whispers and murmurs began, everyone staring and pointing at her._

"_Don't you people have any work to do? Quit staring at me and get on with your work!" she snapped at them. Her irritation escalated with each step she took towards Christian's office. Andrea looked up as she arrived and gaped. The last time she was here, Andrea had nearly lost her job. As Ana walked towards the office, Ros opened the door from the inside and stepped out._

"_Andrea," she said, coolly, "I'm here to see Mr Grey" Andrea flushed with embarrassment, wondering what to do. _

"_Mrs Grey, uh… Mr Grey has… that is to say…" The door opened once again and Christian stepped out, a look of disbelief on his face. Apparently, he'd heard her voice._

"_Ana?!" She shot him a look that said, _Step back.

"_You lost the right to call me that the moment you fucked that whore." She told him, her piercing glare wanting to slice him into pieces. He looked even more taken aback. Andrea cleared her throat. Christian seemed to jerk back from wherever._

"_Come in," He said, quietly. She walked past him and entered his office. Christian closed the door behind him._

"_You were served with the papers. Why did you not accept it?" she asked, almost civilly. He frowned at her._

"_That question is fundamentally incorrect," he said. "I don't want a divorce. I want a chance to talk to you and explain things to you." She threw her head back and laughed shrilly. This hostile behaviour was so unlike her and she knew it. But somehow, she was strangely getting acquainted with this new Ana that she had taken a liking to her._

"_Explain!" she gasped, still laughing. "That's rich, coming from you!"_

"_Anastasia." He said coldly. "Stop that. We are here to discuss-"_

"We _are not here. _I _came all the way to Seattle so that I could get you to sign those damn papers for the hearing and take my son with me. We are not here to fucking _discuss _anything. You are signing those papers and I'm heading back home." She told him in a low, dangerous voice. Christian blinked his eyes twice, as if unable to believe that it was his wife speaking. _

"_Ana, listen to me. It was a mis-"_

"_You're damn right it was. But if you dare to complete that sentence, I will not be held responsible for my actions." He looked downright frustrated now. Of course he was, since things were not in _his _control._

"_You are giving in to this divorce, Christian." She continued, ominously. "I have no intention of patching anything up and no matter what you say, or how hard you try, I will not go back to your house; back willingly into your arms. Don't ever expect that to happen; because if you do, then you are more arrogant than what I originally thought you were. Sign it quick. I have no wish to continue wasting my breath for the likes of you." _

_He looked dumbfounded. She took advantage of his temporary loss of wits. She rummaged through her back and shoved the papers into his hands. "I'm giving you twenty minutes to go through it. " She said, almost graciously. As if in a daze, Christian turned the pages and read through the documents. His blank expression gradually turned into livid._

"_What the fuck, Ana? I am not giving you full custody of my-"_

"I _carried him for nine months, not you. _I _bathed him and dressed him. _I _fed him and looked after him. Just putting your seed in doesn't make him your son. I agree you've managed to spend time with him – enough to make him happy. That's all is what is going to continue. I won't steal him away from you, but I won't – heaven forbid – leave him in your care."_

_Without a word, he continued looking through them. He was baffled. He had never before incurred the wrath of angry – no – furious Ana before, and he didn't know how to react to her. He looked at further clauses which seriously disturbed him._

"_You can't seriously think-"_

"_Listen you asshole," she hissed. "I am tiring of yelling at you, so I won't say much. I am not taking a penny from you. I am not hiding away with my son. I am not asking for any of your assets. For your benefit, I have let go of my pride and have allowed you to set up an account in Teddy's name for his expenditure. The only thing I want is freedom from you. I am only going to say this once. Sign them, now or I swear, I'll move heaven hell and earth if it comes to it and destroy everything that you built, everything that you have. I will make you sorry."_

_Ana took a deep breath after this speech, proud of herself. She knew he didn't respond well to threats and was keen on seeing his expression. Her chest heaving, she looked him in the eye, daring him to retaliate. To her utmost astonishment, he took out his pen from the stand on his table and began signing each sheet where it was required. As he handed it over to her, he had an inscrutable expression on his face._

"_What did you tell Teddy?" he asked, his voice breaking in the end, betraying his agonised emotions. She had calmed down now._

"_I told him we were getting a divorce and that he was coming with me to a new place. I assured him that he could see you as often as he wanted, and he agreed." She replied quietly. He nodded jerkily. She saw a pool of tears assembling in his eyes. Well, tough luck. He should have thought of this when he filled Ms Hale in. I refused to feel anything for him as she turned and exited the building, exited Seattle and exited his world, finally. _

Ana now felt a vague sense of pity for him. She had finally come to terms with his activities. All the anger, rage, despair and regret that she felt had been channelled into her work. Her single minded focus and determination had reaped plenty of benefits which she enjoyed today. One of them was lack of bitterness and craving for her old lifestyle. Regardless of that, It increased her despair, these memories. She shook her hand and her subconscious scolded her, "Keep your head in the present, Steele!"

As she reviewed the documents, she thought about her present life.

She had an average bungalow except for the perks of a pool and a tennis court – both which were Ted's hobbies. They had a piano in their house which Ted was accomplished in playing. Ana had taken a leaf out of Grace's book and made her son learn Kung Fu and dancing too. She had a security team of her own which found was necessary when an ex-employee with a grudge had attempted to attack her. (Thankfully, the event hadn't become public.) It was much more vast and efficient than Christian's. This was due to the fact that she ran an empire much larger than Christian's.

Along with that, she had done what she loved – writing. She was the author of a series of romance novels which she had anonymously sent to her editor. They'd approved of it with full enthusiasm after which she'd revealed with glee that they were her works. She had gained millions from that little venture of hers.

Without doubt, Ted was one of the richest kids of the United States, coming from two rich parents. He went to one of the poshest schools in the country even though he was still thirteen.

With all this boundless successes of hers, she wasn't happy. She hadn't contacted any of her family since the time when she left for Florida. She was all alone in the world except for Teddy and her 'Taylor' guy, Raymond. Usually Raymond handled most of the deals, doing the negotiating. He was the only person closest to a friend. And of course, there was Joanne, the invisible housekeeper, who only did and never spoke. She was startlingly efficient and nothing ever ruffled her feathers. Being in her position, Ana couldn't afford to make friends. She didn't have time for them and secondly, she wouldn't be aware of their intentions. She desperately needed the warmth and affection of family but she refused to meet them. She was afraid that they would ask her questions which she couldn't and wouldn't answer. She didn't know what Christian had told them regarding the divorce. She couldn't stand the thought of facing them and not knowing what to say. To put it plainly, she was scared.

But she hadn't denied Ted the opportunity to have and bond with his family. He kept gushing about Grandpa Ray this and Uncle Elliot that; Aunt Mia this and Aunt Kate that; Ava this and Grandpa Carrick that. He adored his family, especially his father and Grandma Grace. They were regular correspondents. Usually, when Teddy was wrapping up a Skype call from his father, she'd hear Christian ask, "Is your mother around?" Teddy would reply in the affirmative. Christian would say, "Can you ask her if she would talk to me?" and Teddy would run to her and ask, "Mom! Dad is online! Do you want to talk to him?" with a doe like, innocent, hopeful expression.

Her standard reply would be, "Ted, I am busy. Some other time, perhaps." It hurt her to see his face fall with disappointment as he would mumble "Okay." And run back to the computer.

He would tell his father, "Mom doesn't want to talk to you." In a forlorn voice. She'd hear Christian's falsely cheerful voice saying, "Never mind. Next time, perhaps." And end the call with his son.

After the incident, he wouldn't talk to her for three days and slowly, after a lot of fussing, he'd come back to her.

She jerked back to reality from her reverie as someone knocked the door. "Come in." she snapped. Raymond entered the room. She relaxed her rigid stance. "Oh, it's you." She said. Raymond smiled and put six envelopes on her table.

"Three business conferences, two award functions, one environmental meet. Mr Grey is on the guest list of the award functions and one of the business conferences." He informed her.

She opened the envelopes and went through all of them. Sighing, she said, "Cancel the conference and send my apologies for the award functions. You go in my stead for those two. Accept everything else. Check three for the environmental meet. I am taking Theo with me for that one."

"Yes Ma'am." Said Raymond and exited the room. She sighed again. For how much longer did she have to continue in hiding? She shook her head once again as if shaking off all the depressing thoughts. She spent the rest of the day immersing herself in her work. At about 7 in the evening, she closed her shop and headed home in her customized Audi s8. She took a moment to breath away from the universe of business. She reached home and she unwound herself in front of the huge plasma TV on the plush beige couches. After a while, she realised that Teddy hadn't come to greet her as he did every day.

Frowning, she headed upstairs to his room. She knocked on the door. "Theo? Are you in there?" she asked gently.

"Mom, don't come in!" he said in a shaky voice. Ana was worried now.

"Teddy, what's wrong?" she asked anxiously.

"Mom, it's nothing. Please go away." I heard his muffled voice say.

Ana stood there for a couple of seconds and then ran downstairs to Raymond. "Raymond, call Blake here. I need to talk to him." Blake was Teddy's bodyguard + driver + caretaker person. Blake arrived on the scene.

"Ma'am?" he said timidly.

"Blake, what's wrong with my son?" she demanded. She saw Blake flinch. "Err… he uh... asked me not to tell you Ma'am." He replied, beginning to feel a little scared.

"Tell me something, Blake. Who pays your salary? Me, or Ted?" she asked in a dangerously soft voice.

"You, Ma'am." He mumbled.

"So whom do you answer to?"

"You, Ma'am."

"Now tell me, Blake." She said. "What happened to my son?"

"He… was playing tennis when his father called him, Ma'am. His father spoke to him for quite some time. He seemed upset after that although the conversation was quite animated. He stopped playing and sat down simply looking at nowhere. Then he began playing again when he fell and… he… um… sprained his leg. He didn't want to worry you, which is why I didn't tell you." Blake said the last two sentences really fast.

Ana frowned. Her son was crying about a sprain? That couldn't be true. She went upstairs and opened the door. What had his damned father done this time?

Teddy looked up in surprise through his tear stained face. He was clutching at his ankle. He immediately let go and wiped his face. "You weren't supposed to come in." He muttered.

"Well, I can't just sit still when my boy is crying, can I?" she said, smiling softly. She sat on his bed and caressed his face. He buried his head in her chest as she stroked his head.

"What's wrong, baby boy?" she asked gently. "What did Dad tell you on phone?" He shook his head.

"Dad didn't say anything. We just fixed up a date for riding on Charlie Tango. Then I asked him whether you could come, he said that you wouldn't. I told him that I would ask you later." They both remained silent for some time. Then, he asked, "Mom, why do you not talk to dad anymore?"

She did a double take. She had never expected this question from him. She thought he'd steer clear of that topic. Some part of her hoped he wouldn't notice it. But who was she kidding? He was Christian Grey's son. Of course he'd notice. She swallowed once, thinking of an appropriate response.

"Is that why you're crying? Because I don't talk to your father anymore?" She said, evasively. He shook his head.

"It's because I don't get to see my family together anymore." He said. The blood chilled in her veins. She could predict the next words coming out of his mouth. She wanted to stop him, but she was incapacitated by fear. A part of her had a masochistic need to hear him out and go through with whatever he would ask.

"Mom, can we celebrate my thirteenth birthday with Dad and everyone else?" She let go of him. He looked hurt as he leaned back and looked at her scared face. She slowly stood up and walked out of the room. She locked herself up in hers. She drew all the curtains, switched off all the lights and sat on her bed, tucking her head between her knees. She rocked back and forth, thinking.

On one hand, she was deathly scared of facing her family. Her previous fears arose, imagining their reactions on seeing her. She wondered whether they would be embarrassed and apologise on Christian's behalf or whether they would treat her like a guest. She shuddered to think about either option.

On the other hand, she had never denied Teddy anything, in his entire life. It wasn't that she had pampered him, but that he deserved them. He was the dream child that every mother hoped for. She couldn't deny him this simple wish because of her stupid fears. _You know you're going to do it. You're going to say yes to him. Why bother with the mental conflict?_ Her subconscious told her kindly. After minutes of coming to terms with her decision, she unlocked her door and stepped out. She had to prepare their dinner. She took a deep breath and headed towards the kitchen.

Hearing the noisy clatter of dishes and other utensils, Ted ventured towards the kitchen. He was sorry that he had brought it up. He had no idea why his parents had divorced, but he'd never once asked either of them. He genuinely missed the seeing his entire family together, and hated the tension whenever he mentioned his mother in front of them. But he now realised that he couldn't afford to be selfish. He had to be a little sensitive to whatever his mother was feeling. He peered at her from behind the wall. She wore a stoic _I am going to kill everyone who does a bad job during my watch _look, one she had only seen her wear at Steele Enterprises. He was scared, now. He had seen his mother make her employees shiver with fright, and he never wanted to be on the receiving end of it.

"Mom?" he said, slowly coming into view. Her face softened as she saw him. Before he could say anything, she bent down and hugged the life out of him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I never knew you felt that way. But if that's what you want, you can have it. We'll celebrate your birthday with everyone, your entire family."

"Really? You'll actually do that for me?!" he asked, his eyes shining with hope.

"Anything," she vowed. "I'll do anything for you."


	5. The Awards

It was the day of the award ceremony. I had informed Raymond to accept their invitation after Teddy's request. It was the first time since two years that I was seeing him. Christian. I had refused to even look at his photographs in the news. I had exterminated him from my life. I was finally going to interact with him. My feet turned into jelly every time I thought of him, the good parts of the early years of our marriage. I would need to fan myself and drink a glass of water. I wondered how I would be actually, in his presence. I wondered about his reaction. So far, I had declined all the invites to the events to which Christian was attending.

Although he would be the only man I would ever love, I couldn't forgive him for all the atrocious acts of his. That was the only reason why I wasn't running back to him. Then there was the other secret of mine – the result of these atrocities. The nightmares.

Breaking away from my thoughts, I asked Raymond to call up the salon line I owned and ask them to come home for my personal beautification. Within minutes, my team arrived and an hour later, I was thoroughly plucked, exfoliated and freshened, making me look more beautiful than usual. My personal shopper arrived in time to give me my dress for the evening, and all the accessories that went with it. I never bothered with any of that. It was all entirely up to Lola. Everything related to fashion was her responsibility.

When I was finally ready, my fashion team cooed with delight and declared that I was perfect in all respects. I shooed them away, with due thanks in kind. Teddy entered the house after his swimming lessons. He took a look at me and his eyes widened.

"Wow. Mom… you look… beautiful." He said in awe. I smiled at him.

"Thank you. I need to go to an award thing tonight, so I'll be home late, okay? Probably early in the morning tomorrow. I need to fly back and forth to attend the event." I told him. I gave him cash for takeout and asked him not to leave the house. He was a rich kid, but he didn't have access to any kind of money. He asked, I rationed and gave. I wanted him to learn the value of it.

It was 2 noon. It was time for me to leave. I went up to the helipad in my terrace and climbed my chopper. Raymond, Brandon and Stewart came along with me. The pilot began the flying the chopper and within 4 hours, we reached the city. We directly went to a hotel I owned there and occupied the penthouse. I rested for a while there. At around 5.15, we left the hotel in an M3 and reached our destination.

Raymond climbed out and opened the door. I sighed. This was going to be a long evening. The moment I got out of the car, I could hear thousands of clicks around me and thousands of reporters asking questions. I ignored them all and placed a regal look on my face. Raymond and Brandon made way for me through the ocean of reporters. As I went passed them, I heard two things at once – A deep sexy voice muttering, "Bloody press"; and a reporter looking into the camera and saying, "This is a double whammy! Here, we have recently divorced couple, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey entering the Business Awards at the same time!"

I froze in my way. I heard Brandon murmur, "Ms Steele?"

**CPOV**

As soon as the reporter said that, I looked behind me, to see whether Ana was actually there. Taylor tapped my shoulders and gestured towards the front. I saw the back of a stunning woman in a glittery red dress with a deep 'v' in the back, the bottom part cut diagonally from her mid-thigh to her feet. Her hair was curled in elaborate twirls and they hung across her shoulders almost carelessly. Slowly, I realised I wasn't moving, and neither was she. The press, a part of me noted, was eating this all up. The woman slowly turned and I gasped inaudibly as I saw how much more beautiful she was in real life than on the news or the papers. Her expression had an aristocratic bearing and it seemed to harden at my sight. My heart sank. This squashed all my momentarily inflated hopes. She nodded curtly, "Mr Grey," she said.

My heart dropped 20 miles into the ground as she spoke to me the first time in three years. I was saddened with grief as she didn't call me by my given name. I was aware of my awestruck expression, but I didn't care. It showed the truth, after all. Taylor nudged me. I was shaken back to reality. I nodded back. "Ms Steele. I can't tell you-"at that dratted moment, her phone began to ring in the customary iPhone tune.

"Excuse me," she murmured and answered the call, still fixing her gaze on mine. The next second, her expression held shock. I was alarmed. What was wrong?

"Ted?!" she exclaimed disbelievingly.

**APOV**

I slowly turned, not wanting to believe my assumption. There stood the father of my child, Greek God incarnate, Emperor of a self-built empire, in all his uber handsome glory, Christian Grey. For one moment, I forgot all about my anger, and indulged my celibate self. Like a starving woman, I began to feed my eyes to the wondrous sight to its fullest when I remembered where I was. _Save it for later, Steele. Don't lose it now._ I pulled my long – repressed emotions together and brought about a stoic expression. Christian was looking at me with… wonder? Maybe I did look ravishing. I nodded at him saying, "Mr Grey." In the frostiest tone I could muster. He didn't respond for 4 seconds. Then, he too nodded and said, "Ms Steele-"and began saying something when my phone rang. I answered the call.

"Mom! I can see you on TV! I can see dad too! You're talking to dad! Oh, mom, you're looking so stuffy and serious! Smile! You're on TV!" yelled my son. I felt all the tension in me dissipate as a bubble of laughter threatened to exit my mouth. This was plain hilarious. I managed a wry smile.

"Sweetie, haven't I told you not to disturb me when I go out dressed?" I said, smiling still.

"You did, but you're smiling! This is so cool! Can I talk to dad?" said my over- enthusiastic boy. I could see Christian stifling a laugh. I grinned for Teddy's sake.

"Not now, Theo. I have to go now. Take care, okay? Listen to Blake and don't get into trouble." I told him and ended the call.

**CPOV**

I saw her smile… and even if it wasn't because of me, I was happy to see her smile. None of her photos or footages contained any hint that the woman in front of me was capable of smiling. Any time an interviewer cracked a joke, she'd give them a frigid look and deliver a comment which would leave them floundering for an opportunity to continue the interview. I myself got scared sometimes when I saw that look. That's when I realised why they called her the shark. Now, I was in the receiving end of it, as she cut the call.

She looked as though she was about to say something when one of her lackeys leaned in and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, turned and left. A spark of jealousy over their intimacy shot through me. _She's not yours anymore, _reminded a voice in my head. Cursing, I followed her inside, my eyes only for her. "Sir, we're in a public event which is being televised," muttered Taylor, "I know she looks irresistible and I can't stop staring at her too. You've got to _get a grip_."

Disgruntled, I went inside the main hall and saw that my table was adjacent to the one where 'Steele' was marked. I wanted to jump up, shout and do a dance routine at the same time. Somehow, that woman had reduced me into a teenager again.

I saw her talking to a billionaire in the field of software. He held her hand, lifted it and kissed the back of it, maintaining eye contact. I emitted a low growl. She gave a distant smile, to my satisfaction. I saw them making a low conversation and then take leave of one another. Raymond, I think, sat next to Ana and Brandon and the other guy stood far off where all the other security personnel stood. I inhaled deeply, to control my turbulent emotions. I looked at her and said, "Ms Steele," she turned towards me. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you at this event. I can't believe it has been two years. You look more beautiful than ever." She flinched and her lower lip trembled like it used to whenever she was upset. _Shit,_ I thought, _what have you done now?_

"Thank you." She said in a tight, controlled voice, "After being trampled all over for 10 years, I have worked hard to regain my twenties' beauty." She said bitterly. I had just been sharked. She immediately looked away, sparing me from further embarrassment.

"Sir, I suggest that you should not talk to her until she initiates the conversation. All these years, she has avoided all the social functions that you were supposed to be attending. For her to appear suddenly indicates that she must have a reason to come here today." Advised Taylor. I grunted in reluctant agreement.

**APOV**

Bitterly regretting my thoughtless words, I sat trying to form words to tell him of Teddy's wish. The program began then. I paid only 25 per cent attention to the joker of a host, Richard. I observed that he made a snide comment about the two of us making our first public appearance or something of that sort. I bristled. So this smart ass thought that he could get away from the shark at a public gathering? Think again, pretty boy. Challenge accepted.

They called me on for the 4th award, the Green Award, for being the most environmentally friendly company. I went up on stage and gave the awarders a tiny, inscrutable smile and thanked them. I gave my usual practiced speech after which a leaned towards Richard and mock – whispered, "Make one more snarky comment about my divorce again, and I shall make sure you have nothing to look forward for in the coming years other than a little shovel with a dollar a month." There was a stunned silence in the hall. I winked at him with a generous smile and said, "Sweetheart, don't take me so seriously. I had to keep up with my sharky reputation!" I then heard a few nervous laughs after which everyone including Richard joined in as I seated myself once again.

Raymond smirked, "Front page again, Ma'am. Well done." I took out my phone to check the internet. I gossip pages had already posted the news.

"I was getting annoyed by that prick." I said casually. I went up the stage for another award for maximum growth percentage. This time, Richard's face held a strained smile. I winked at him once more and exited the stage. I didn't look at Christian again for the rest of the time. At some point, I got bored by the program. I decided that I was ready to face Christian in a verbal combat again. I turned to him and found him looking at me unabashedly.

"Theodore wants to celebrate his thirteenth birthday with all of his family. I was thinking that Seattle would be convenient for all of you. So where do we hold it?" I asked him, detachedly. If I put passion in my words, I would start crying. Stoic was what helped me maintain my composure. Christian did a double take as I spoke a sane sentence to him, but recovered quickly.

"Um... My place?" he said, with that arrogant tone of his.

"You must be fucking kidding me." I barked a sarcastic laugh. He looked disappointed.

"Grace and Carrick's, then." He said, decidedly. I nodded in agreement.

"Send me a bill of all the expenses, and I'll write you a cheque." I told him. He looked taken aback and offended.

"Ms Steele, you may be the eighth richest person in the country but I would spare no expense in keeping him happy, and I would still be rich." He said with a bruised ego. I looked at him with a falsetto knowing look.

"Oh, like how you spared no expense with keeping your own wife happy for ten years? Right." I chuckled. He looked dumbstruck. He opened his mouth to say something when I cut him short.

"Mr Grey, how about I save your mouth from being soiled by your foot and we decide to go Dutch? You send me a bill for half the amount and we'll end the conversation at that." I said, a little kindly. Christian pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"Don't worry. I'll make it the grandest birthday he'll ever have." He said earnestly. I laughed shortly.

"Oh, I'm sure you know a lot about grand gestures. Like the one where you led your wife to find out that 'the poor baby' 's wife couldn't leave him alone and he had to run to another woman to tell his sob story to." I glared at him with a sense of finality and turned away, not able to withstand the conversation any longer without bursting into tears.

**CPOV**

"Damn," said Taylor in awe and amazement, as I just got mutilated by the shark, "I wish I could talk like that!" I could find no suitable reply. I watched as she stood up, excusing herself and left the room, Raymond following her. Her other two guards left the room too and I didn't see her until Ted's birthday celebration.


	6. The day before

Two weeks had passed since I'd last seen Christian. Throughout these two weeks, Teddy continued to gain reassurances from me that I would really, truly fly to Seattle with him on his birthday. He looked uncertain each time I said that. I knew that he would believe me only when he would see me around Christian and his family.

Finally, Joanne, the housekeeper for all intents and purposes, packed both their suitcases and they were ready. Teddy was ready to have a blast at his dad's house along with every single person related to him. I, on the other hand, was prepared to face a storm that was brewing ahead of me. I was terrified of the prospect of meeting my parents, Christian's parents, Christian's siblings and their possibly angry spouses. I, the owner of one of the country's most successful companies, I who led thousands of people and had inspired millions across the world, who scared anyone, regardless of stature, out of their wits, was scared of meeting my relatives of all people. The irony wasn't lost on me.

My son and I rode to our jet after which we boarded it. For almost half the time of our journey, a super excited Teddy kept jumping in his seat and recited all of Ava's antics, all of Grandpa Ray's shooting techniques, Grandma Carla's delicious treats, Uncle Elliot's various jokes, Grandma Grace's medical instruments' names, and the names of Grandpa Carrick's horses. It was a bittersweet happiness that I experienced, watching him. I was happy that he was happy, but it pained me to hear about the people I loved, whose memories I had struggled to suppress over the past two years.

Finally, the boy was drained of all of his energy. He dozed off to sleep, resting his head on my lap. I looked out of the window, at the ominously grey clouds. Deep in thought about my upcoming encounter, I didn't notice Raymond come and sit in front of me. When he shoved a glass under my nose and said, "Cocktail, Ma'am?" I jumped with fright and shouted, "Jesus!"

He looked amused to see my reaction. "Christ, Raymond! Don't sneak up on me like that!" I told him, annoyed.

"I didn't Ma'am. You were so absorbed in your contemplations that you didn't hear my footsteps." He told me, smiling a little. I sighed.

"Raymond, do me a favour. Something tells me that the shark is going to take over me in the next three days. When you see the signs, drag me away from that place, despite my protests. I'll be thankful later and I'll even double your salary if you want." I said earnestly. He laughed once.

"You don't need to increase my salary. I assure you, I'll do as you directed." He promised. Relieved, I took the cocktail and dismissed him with a nod.

Teddy was still asleep when they landed. I tried to lift him, but the growing boy that he was, he was too heavy. Raymond carried him effortlessly and put him in the Mercedes. They rode to a hotel where she had booked a suite. Raymond, who was carrying Teddy, and I went directly to the room as the formalities were being completed by the others. Teddy was placed on the bed and I flopped on the sofa and took out my iPad. I told Raymond, "Call up Christian and ask him to send a car for Teddy."

Utterly famished, but reluctant to sleep, I decided to immerse myself in work. There was a knob in my head which, when I turned it to 'work', would neutralise all my feelings and set them aside. I went about everything with clinical detachment. I called up Stella.

"Ms Steele," she answered the call.

"Stella." I barked, "What's the latest update?" A new acquisition was being made in Indonesia, and I wanted everything to go off without a hitch, all the permits and takeovers. I hated leaving everything here and flying over to a new country just to clear up a tiny misunderstanding.

"Ma'am, they are refusing to sell more than 16 per cent of their shares at the moment" I squeezed my eyes shut, and thought for a moment.

"Buy it, but not without negotiating. Put Danielle on it. If she can't handle it, then agree for the 16. We'll watch what happens next. There's little doubt that the company will fall into turmoil. I need half hourly updates" I ordered.

"Very good, Ma'am" Stella said quickly before I ended the call. I clicked on the browser and went to the stock exchange website. I called my broker up and sold a few thousand shares, making a profit of nearly quarter of a million dollars within two seconds. I loved playing in the 'change. It was exciting, like an adventure sport.

I received a call from Carl McKenzie, a board member of Steele Publishing. "Steele." I said, picking up the phone.

"Ms Steele," came his strained voice. "Our contract with Mrs James has expired and she's demanding double the amount for the renewal, Ma'am. I know money isn't an issue, but the sum she's asking for is downright _obscene_. I-"

"Save it, Carl." I cut in. "I know you wouldn't call me unless the issue went right out of hand. Is she planning to sue us on some grounds?"

"Yes, Ma'am. There's a clause which states the increment of funds provided to her in the renewed deal, if the sales of her books crossed a given amount."

"Has it?"

"No. She is accusing us of leaking her work online and thereby making her incur a loss." He paused. "Ma'am, it's the year end, and we're reaching for higher aims this time. An unwanted law suit would be unpleasant." I considered the matter.

"Carl, hold her off for two more days. Tell her that I myself will be flying over to meet her. I'll work it out. How're the employees' problems being managed? Any speed bumps?"

"That issue is buried, Ma'am. The Steele Enterprises management increased the pay for overtime across every sector." He replied.

"Keep me updated about the European contract. If they want to renegotiate, call me." I ordered. This was what I loved about myself, and what my employees loved about me. I looked into every trivial matter in each sector and paid attention to every detail, despite macro problems.

I called Raymond in. "Raymond, have the paparazzi got wind of this party yet?" I asked him, begging internally for him to say now. Raymond allowed himself a small smile. He took out his phone and showed me the gossip sites. I groaned. Our history rehashed, Ted's private life and Christian's private life was splayed all across those vile things.

"Damage control, Raymond. Maximise security. I don't want anybody crowded around Grace's house. You know the routine." Raymond nodded briefly and exited the room. I leaned back against the couch, my mind fully occupied by Indonesia. I gave a week's time for my having fifty percent stake of the company. I grinned.

Raymond knocked at my door and I bid him to enter. He extended his phone to me. "Mr Grey, Ma'am"

"Tell him I'm indisposed." I said, knowing very well that he could hear me say those words. "Take down any message from him." I then realised that an ominous event lay ahead of me. In a few blissful minutes, I had actually forgotten about the dangers lurking in the corner. _Damn it_.

I heard Raymond mutter a few things into the phone and cut the call. I looked at him warily.

"Mr Grey wants to go through some of the arrangements of Master Teddy's party. He requests your presence at his mother's place. I informed him that you didn't have any obligations for the rest of the day. You are expected there in the next fifteen minutes, Ma'am."

I glared at him, menacingly. "You are too comfortable with your position, aren't you?" I asked, wanting to mow him into the ground.

With complete seriousness, he said, "Yes Ma'am. In addition, I'd hate to see a woman on the verge of taking over the world, hiding behind the skirts of a hotel, afraid to meet her own relatives. I had a solid reason to be working with you and I have no intention of letting that reason be untrue."

I gave him a long suffering look. "Et tu, Raymond?" I stood up, putting away my plaything and gestured for him to leave. As he closed the door, I muttered grumpily, "He's right, damn him."

Twenty minutes later, after much procrastination on my part and equally stubborn insistence on Raymond's part, I was headed towards Grace's place. What I was about to do finally hit me. How would they react? Would they welcome me back with open arms? Or would they put up a fuss for the no-contact thing? Passing my time worriedly staring out of the rain-streaked window, I realised with a start that we were there. Perdition was here. I sat there, not attempting to move. Raymond opened the door. Sulking, I got out, giving him a full-on juvenile pout.

I walked into the gates and to the door. My heart stopped momentarily, but I heaved a clichéd sigh of relief as I saw that it was only the butler. He took my coat and said, "They are upstairs, Ma'am"

My stomach began somersaulting. I was actually here, just a few steps away from my family. By heels clicked on the marble floor as I walked. I could hear the loud talk lower in volume and disperse into murmurs. A had a mild panic attack. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? I robotically climbed the stairs. The silence up there was deafening. The final steps made me feel like I was walking to the gallows. I stared at my feet as I finally conquered the last one. Sucking my breath in, trying to prolong this moment, I looked up hoping that disaster might not ensue.


	7. Explosions

Ten faces looked at me, each more comical than the other, under different circumstances. But now, I could find nothing remotely humorous about the situation. Neither party made first move. There was utter silence in the room. I? I didn't know what to say, didn't know how each of my words would be received. I was unaware of what was going on in their minds.

Carla looked at me with an inscrutable expression. When I met her eyes, her mask slipped. Underneath, I could see pain… infinite amount of pain. Ray looked at me with wonder, as if not really being able to believe that his daughter was actually here.

Mia was looking at me with a hurt expression; Ethan was flaunting a steely look. Carrick and Elliot wore identical looks of unmistakable anger. I exhaled unnoticeably, shakily. I rested my eyes upon Grace and the only thing I felt was confusion. Her chest was heaving with alarmingly escalating speed. Her arms were folded across her chest. Her hostility surprised me. Negative vibes were reaching me with rapid intensity. _Jesus,_ I thought. _If looks could kill…_

Her face held anger, rage and a determined look… for killing me, I supposed. I felt that she would like nothing better than an opportunity to use me as her punching bag. I mentally braced myself to face Kate. I turned to her and was met with a cold, detached, distant look. She was gazing at me as if I was an exquisite creature that she had never seen in her entire life.

Truth be told, I was bowled over. I had anticipated various scenarios and this was not one of them. I kept an impassive expression fixed on my face throughout my scrutiny, unwilling for anyone to subject _me _to _their _scrutiny. My heart sank. Blood rushed to my face and my stomach plummeted. Suddenly, I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run away from this room and never look back. I was disheartened, depressed and angry by my reception. Their faces all had an accusing look, as if I was the villain in the situation.

Suddenly, my CEO mind snapped into action. My gears began turning with full speed. What was the reason behind their reaction? Within nano seconds, a possibility occurred to me. I turned to Christian. He was watching me with a careful look. The moment my head flew to his direction, he started. I gave him a disappointed expression.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" I said. He had sense enough to look ashamed. I smiled lifelessly. "This is so typical of you." I small laugh escaped my mouth. I saw Grace step forward. My peripheral look told me that her eyes had never once left me.

"You destroyed him." She hissed. "You destroyed his happiness! You ruined him! Is that what you wanted all these years? To obtain all his trade secrets and beat him at his own game?"

Christian shifted uncomfortably. "Mom, st-"

"No! Let me finish. You ruined him, thereby ruining our happiness. You took his son away from him. Hell, you stole a part of his business from him! How dare you come here, you arrogant little…" she spit at my feet. "I have no idea where you-"

"Mother, stop!" Christian interrupted, forcefully. "Don't blame _her_." He said, making it evident who was to blame. Kate went to Grace and pulled her back.

"Yes, don't, Grace. She's not worth it." My mind and my tears fought a long battle. Ultimately, the mind won, which meant that I was back in CEO mode.

"Is that what I don't deserve in this lifetime, Christian? The truth? Will I never get it at all?" I asked him, calmly. "I thought you were better than this. I thought you were a better human being, a better man. Apparently I was wrong." I said, bitterly.

This time Elliot spoke. "Don't turn the tables, Steele." He said harshly. "You lost the right to decide what was right and wrong a long time ago. If your intention-"

"I have had enough!" I exploded. The ruthless marine animal was unleashed. I could now feel the shark taking over my senses. I took a few steps towards Christian. "I am done! Done with your web of lies! Done with you manipulating every single thing that remotely concerns me!" I looked wildly around the room and gained a sense of vindictive satisfaction as I saw surprise and fear in their faces, looking at my persona.

"Tell them, Christian, why I left you! I imagine that you simply concealed the truth and these people," I turned to the rest of them, "-made their own assumptions. Tell them, how you were fucking another woman for three years!" Oh yeah, I had done my research. "Lucy Hale. Isn't that her name? Send her my best wishes." I said, giving him a fake smile. "She gave me an out from this marriage. She gave me a legitimate reason to help me get away from a monster!"

At this moment, Raymond tapped my shoulder. "What?!" I snapped.

"The shark, Ma'am." He muttered almost inaudibly.

"I don't give a damn! These people deserve it." I hissed in fury.

"Ma'am, _calm down._" He ordered. He shook me once, and I regained my senses. I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. Thank god for Raymond.

"Christian?" I heard my mother say tentatively. "What is she saying?" I sighed, tired of all the adrenaline that rushed through me. The vein in my forehead slowed down in its throbbing. I was beginning to get a headache from all that stress.

"He cheated on me, with a girl called Lucy Hale. During that time at home… he did things… which I am not ready to reveal now. I'll leave it to Christian to tell you about _that_." I shuddered. "He fucked her in his office, every day until I saw an email in his computer at home from her. I confronted him. He confirmed my thoughts and I left. The rest is history." I said in a quiet voice.

"I don't believe you." Said Grace, boldly.

"Mom!" Christian said frustratedly. "What she says is true to every detail. Stop blaming her!"

There was silence once again. The tension in the air seemed to lower. I heard someone choke back a sob. I turned to see my mother clasping her hand over her mouth. I covered the space between us in three long strides and hugged her. She immediately reciprocated. She began crying and didn't seem to be in a hurry to stop. I had decided to forgive her for doubting me as she had merely doubted. The others seemed to have been hell bent on believing their other theory. We both didn't speak. The physically contact erased the necessity. She was apologising for doubting me, felt sorry for me for having to fend for myself, and was telling me that she had missed me. I was apologising for not remaining in contact, forgiving her and comforting her. After what seemed like eternity, we withdrew from each other. I hadn't let my tears flow – a product of rigorous practice. Her eyes were shining with tears. I looked away from her before she could speak and took in the scene around me. Everyone was struggling to swallow the revelation. They seemed to be in an agony, an agony of not knowing what to do. I was going to solve their problem once and for all.

"You. All of you. You knew me. You saw me through the years. You also observed that I was upset about something. I genuinely want to know what made you think that I was the one at fault." I inquired. They were dumbfounded, some of them on the verge of tears.

"How could you?" I said, for the first time hurt seeping through my voice. Mia burst into tears. Immediately, a high pitched squeal startled everyone. I looked down to see a little toddler crying, looking at her Aunt Mia. I smiled a little.

"This must be little Ava." I said. I kneeled down and touched her cheek. The little girl looked at me with wonder and stopped crying slowly. I pulled her into my arms. I saw Kate move towards her child instinctively. I jerked back. "Oh, I am sorry, Kate. Maybe I am not _worthy_ enough to fondle your child."

Kate looked at me desperately. "Ana," she begged, "Don't." I tilted my head questioningly, pretending to not know what she was talking about. She swallowed, convulsing. "I am truly, very sorry." She whispered. I just looked at her. I bent down and took the child I my arms again. I cleared the hair from her face and told her, "Hi, Ava! I am Aunt Ana." I said chirpily. She bit her lower lip and smiled shyly. I grinned delightedly, looking at this beautiful, tiny creature.

"She looks just like you, Elliot!" I said, standing up, immediately dropping my decision to not forgive any of them. I had changed, and that too for the better. Juvenile acts would only increase the pain in everyone's minds. That didn't mean that I wasn't hurt by their mistrust. Grace… I had to think about.

I saw Elliot's Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "You think so?" he said gruffly. Elliot had been the older brother that I never had. He had loved me and showed me a lot of affection over the years. I had warmed towards him and wanted that old relationship back now.

I nodded. "Uh huh. It's the eyes… and the nose, I think. The chin too. She has got Kate's hair, though." I said, smiling slightly.

"Ana, I-" I held out my palm to him.

"No blood, no foul." I said. "Let's not talk about it anymore." He stood there nervously for a few moments. He then rushed towards me and enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. I was startled for a second and then slowly put my hands around his neck.

"Sorry," he managed to choke out in a thick voice. I nodded. He let go of me. I smiled at him again and he smiled back hesitantly. At that moment, I heard a resounding slap. I turned to see Grace standing furiously in front of Christian. I saw Christian's cheek lose the blood and become more red with the prints of Grace's hand.

"Whoa," I said. "Fickleness doesn't become you, Grace." I said innocently. She turned to me, her eyes full of regret.

Before she had a chance to speak, Mia said, "Ana, stop, please. You're scaring me. You're scaring all of us. Come back to us. We're begging you. We were all fooled. By _him." _She said pointing at Christian. He was now touching his cheek with the tip of his fingers. He looked like a lost toddler, but surprisingly, I didn't feel my heart go out for him. My unsympathetic look undid him. He turned and walked out of the room. I looked at Mia who was still crying.

"I am sorry too. I should have spoken to you all. Otherwise we would not be in this situation. But at that time, I was so humiliated and hurt and angry that seeing anything that reminded me of Christian was unbearable. I didn't have it in me to explain anything. Teddy was an exception, though." I explained.

Carrick said, "We shouldn't have thought that about you. We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. It wasn't fair to you. It was and Ethan said their apologies which I graciously accepted. I finally turned to my father. "So, daddy," I said with a small smile, "Do you still think you're little girl needs help with the world?"

Ray's face was streaked with tears. "Always," he said hoarsely, "always." He came to me and gripped the sides of my face, planting a firm kiss on my forehead. At this moment, I could no longer be heartless. I allowed myself to be normal again, to be human. A few tears escaped my eyes. I sniffed.

"I love you, Ana, never forget that." He said, uncaring about that fact that he was crying too.

"I love you too, dad." I whispered. With the back of my hand, I wiped my cheeks. I turned smiling brightly.

"So, what is Teddy going to see tomorrow?"


	8. Regrets

_**Sorry, guys! Writer's block… plus I was absorbed by the Iron Man 3 movie I saw yesterday! Magnificent movie.**_

_**So you guys wanted a Christian's POV. Here it is…**_

**CPOV**

In the later years of our marriage, I started getting frustrated with Ana. She had become docile… and submissive – everything I hadn't married her for. I loved her for her spirit. I loved her for the fact that she had the guts to stand up to me, something which only my family had dared to. She was… different.

With that pea brain of mine, little did I realise that the change in Ana was because of me, because of my fucking _obsession_ with control. The decision we had come to wasn't helping either of us. I began to hate the way she behaved, not raising her voice for anything, accepting everything I said. I wanted to tell her to stop doing that but somehow, I could never get around to saying that. Then I started doing things that would piss her off, just to provoke her into yelling, or standing up to me. Then I began coming home late, another novel idea on my part to deliberately increase the fights between us. I stayed at the office, doing all of the pending work, so much so that the company flourished more than ever before. Things could have been mended even at this stage, if I hadn't doubled my idiocy.

One day, the devil entered my life. Satan appeared in the form of a female witch. Lucy Hale. She had come to my office as a PR rep from a client company. She was explaining about the press conference that was happening the next week due to a new acquisition of a mid-cap company. She was blushing to the roots of her hair and talking, stuttering and stammering all the while. I was amused. She was reacting to this pretty face, and it was damned funny to watch. What was curious was that she wasn't coy and flirty like all the other women that I met. She wasn't smiling at him. She appeared embarrassed. As the meeting ended, I took pity on her and smiled at her.

"Well, Ms Hale. It was a pleasure meeting you. If you are so uncomfortable around me though, you can send another rep. A male one, preferably." I smirked. She blushed again, mortified.

"Oh, no, Mr Grey! I am sorry if I gave you that impression. The thing is, well, this is the first time I'm handling a big account, and I am just a tad nervous." She smiled hesitantly. I grinned inwardly. This made this seem like a cat and mouse game; she was waiting for me to pounce any time. I thought it would be humane to make her comfortable around me. After all, she would be around a long time.

"Ms Hale, how would you feel about a cup of coffee in the café across the street?" She was so astonished that she dropped the paper and pen she was holding. She blushed again.

"Oh!" she gasped. "I am so sorry! How silly of me. I was just… surprised, that's all." She bent to pick them all up. I helped her out.

"Understandable." I flashed a gleaming smile. "So what do you say?"

"Of course!" she agreed. I asked her to leave and wait there for me first, afraid of wagging tongues. I then informed Taylor of the situation. He frowned but didn't say anything. We left the building and went to the cafe. She smiled and waved tentatively as she saw me enter. I joined her in the table in a far corner, lest the paparazzi caught this.

We sat there sipping a cappuccino and taking. At first, she was nervously blabbering about work and how everything would go off without a hitch on D-day. I eased her nerves slowly and we began talking about trivial things.

This became a sort of a tradition for the following two weeks. We worked for a while, with a feeling of friendly ease between us. Then we went to the café and 'hung out'. About two days after the conference, I had a huge fight with Ana regarding my late night stays at the office combined with not paying enough attention to Teddy and some other similar matters. I was in a bad mood and everybody stayed out of my way. Then Lucy came in in her usual sprightly, bubbly manner. Apparently, she hadn't been warned.

I glared at her and she shrank back. I sighed, closing my eyes. It wasn't her fault that my wife riled me. "Hello, Luce." I said.

"Christian." She said, tensely. I exhaled.

"I'm sorry. It's just… home troubles. So tell me…" We proceeded to the day's agenda. After a while, we took a break. I was looking out of the window, staring at nothing. She placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Christian... I shall take the liberty of calling myself your friend. I sincerely hope that I'm not wrong. I... wanted to tell you that you can confide in me… you can tell me anything, and I swear that my lips are sealed." She said earnestly. I looked at her wide blue eyes and something in me sparked. I grabbed her face, and within minutes, we were on my desk, stark naked. At least I had the sense to lock the door, then. Or maybe, it would have been better if someone _had _found us. It would have all ended before it went too far.

This little tryst continued for months. We met up late nights in my office where I opened up good bottles of Scotch and whisky. We drank to our satisfaction and then we had nice vanilla sex. I somehow didn't feel like being kinky with her. She had no idea of my expertise or rather, sexpertise in that area. After that, I was so drunk that I had no memory of the happenings of the night. I assumed that as usual, I changed and went to bed.

Confusion, guilt, regret, remorse. They dominated my thoughts. Taylor warned me the first night I stayed out late with her. "Mr Grey, just think about Mrs Grey. You're married for god's sake! You love your wife! You just can't do this!" He emphasised forcefully. He actually banged the steering wheel. I had given him a steely look and turned away. He had sighed and continued driving. I knew Taylor now loved Ana more than me. I gave him a raise and paid for his insurances, taking care of some of Sophie's prime necessities.

Taylor was conflicted. On one hand, he needed my money; on the other, he was fiercely loyal to Ana. I guessed that he decided to wait as long as he could.

As time passed, Lucy became more and more confident of herself and was becoming more bold in all respects. I was under the illusion that her self-esteem had been boosted by being able to gain the attentions of the great Christian Grey. How very wrong I was.

Ana became more and more volatile. I didn't blame her. Usually, I would just accept all that she had to say to me until she was tired of speaking. After that, I would walk away. The life I was leading was pathetic in one way, but relieving in another.

The amount of change Ana had brought about in me left me scared and spellbound. This just ensured that I was plain evil. I kept reassuring myself, blaming others and relating my sob story to Lucy every fucking day. Pun intended. I was not bothered much about Ana finding out as I was usually careful about everything. The day before she found out, she had been yelling at me about how I should at least try and keep my pants on when I came home drunk and keep my limbs to myself. This made me frown. That night, I discussed about this with Luce and she simply nodded and listened to me sympathetically.

When Ana left me, I went into shock. I adjourned the on-going meeting and sat in my chair, clutching at my hair. "What have I done? What have I done?" I continually muttered, until Taylor burst in without knocking.

"Mr Grey! Ana has left for Florida, minutes ago." He informed me, with an accusatory look.

I looked up slowly, as if in my dream. "Did she… take Teddy?" I whispered. He shook his head. I stood up.

"Shit!" I screamed and threw a paper weight at the wall. It broke into pieces. "How could I have let this happen?! How the fuck did she find out?!" I yelled at Taylor. Taylor froze for a second. He then came forward and threw me a punch in my face. I staggered back because of the force.

"I have had it until here," he pointed at his head, "working with a dick. Ana deserved so much more, and you chose to gift her with an affair. At this circumstance, you're supposed to be running after her, trying to get her back; not asking _how she found out!"_ He threw me a look of disgust. "I am ashamed that I am still not able to make a decision about giving my two weeks' notice; so if you decide to fire me, I shall accept it gladly." And for the first time, Taylor turned his back on me.

That night, I sat in my office, twirling a pen in my hand, when Lucy entered. A looked at her looking pale. "This was a mistake." I whispered. "We shouldn't have done this." She looked at me curiously, when understanding dawned on her face.

"I take it she left you?" she asked. I nodded once, unable to face the truth. My world had come crashing down in seconds and I was yet to come to terms with that fact. She sat next to me and stroked my back. She then stood up and brought out a drink. I took it absent-mindedly gulped it down, planning to drown my miseries in alcohol. After a couple of refills, she started to unbutton my shirt. I swatted her hand away, annoyed. "Not today, Lucy." I snapped.

Suddenly, I felt nauseous and feverish. I couldn't breathe and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I saw a hazy figure move and I heard the door click. I tried to scream but no words came out of my mouth. I collapsed and plunged into darkness.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital. The heart-reading monitors were annoying me. I looked around to see my mother staring at me anxiously.

"Mom," I managed to utter weakly. She swallowed once and rushed towards me, kissing my cheeks and hugging me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She kept saying. "How could she leave you that way? And her child too? It isn't fair to you. But that didn't warrant you subjecting yourself to drug overdose!" she looked at me angrily. "You could have died! You have no idea what hell you have made me undergo! And Teddy, the poor child. He's in a right state."

I just listened to her, not uttering a single word. I could not understand what she was saying. Drug overdose? I had never touched a drug more than what I required in my entire life. Grace finally realised that she couldn't wheedle out another word from me, so she left. After several minutes of solitude and reflection, Taylor entered the room with Teddy. Teddy ran to me and jumped on my bed. He was sobbing and clutched my neck tightly. I kissed him in his hair and shushed and comforted him. Taylor appeared stricken and chagrined.

"I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't have left until you actually fired me. I should have been there." He said ashamedly. The man still thought that I would have the heart to fire him. But something else was bothering me.

"That's okay, Taylor. It was entirely my fault. You were right. I have begun to think in the direction that I was supposed to think. Listen, Taylor. I didn't take the drugs. They were given to me by someone. Ms Hale dropped by late in the evening. I think she put something in my drink. Do a sweep in my office. Where is she, by the way?" Taylor looked shocked.

"She was the one who called the ambulance, sir. She was waiting for some time but she left a few hours ago.

"Well, keep tabs on her and inform me about the sweep." I ordered. He nodded curtly and prepared to leave the room. As he opened the door, I said, "And Taylor, I promise you, I'll change my ways. I shall stop being such a 'dick', as you put it. Just… don't leave me _now_." I told him, feeling very vulnerable. He gave me a small smile, nodded curtly and left the room.

I found out the next day that I had, in fact been drugged. Although this was expected, I was still stunned to silence, as Taylor droned on about the details. I was wondering how I, intelligent-yet-stupid CEO, could be fooled by a mere PR rep. A non-entity. That villainous girl should have to be tracked down.

I did track her down, and very soon, in fact. The hitch was that she threatened to go to the press and reveal about our many a tête-à-tête. I stalled there. I immediately asked her to leave the state and go as far as possible from me. I didn't want to come off as vindictive, but as an incentive, I offered to ruin her financially, if she didn't do as I ordered.

Doubtlessly, she left.

I didn't bother about her after that. I was more worried about getting Ana back. When I was served, I couldn't sleep for two days. Then I thought that the best course of action under such circumstances would be to seduce her into submission. I somehow knew that she would come to me herself.

When she did, I was bowled over. I had never witnessed _any_ person who could manage a situation so well besides me. But even I couldn't manage to even the dominance of the conversation. Not even barely. This was a whole new Ana, revealing a side of her which she had never shown before. We were now equals, with regard to stumping everyone. Fuck, I hated to admit it, but she had the upper handevery. Single. Damn. Time. It was frustrating and awe-inspiring at the same time. She left me utterly helpless in my office after having eaten directly out of her hand, doing just the thing that she wanted me to do.

It was paradoxical. On one hand, I wanted her to be happy, and I knew signing the papers would at least give her some satisfaction. On the other hand, well… I wanted her back. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, that I wanted my family back and that I would change. But those words sounded lame even to my own years. I had done something irreparable and only time (hopefully) would heal.

Over the next two years, I tried to contact her repeatedly, but kept getting shot down by that damned receptionist. The one time I nearly managed, that dratted Raymond got hold of the call and ended it before it got to Ana.

The many times I took Teddy out, I tried to bond with him as much as possible. I wanted to keep contact with the one thing that brought me closer to Ana. And of course, there was the fact that he was my son and I loved him very much.

I watched closely as she climbed the ladder of success quicker and smarter than I had. She rose to fame and she was now my equal in all respects. _This is how it should have been, _I remembered thinking to myself. _This is how I should have treated her. Like a partner. Like an equal._ Regret was eating into me.

I attended all ceremonies, accepted every invite that I received, hoping I would see her. It never happened until Teddy expressed his desire to his mother. Thank god, for that boy.

Despite being thoroughly chewed out by her at that awards function, I didn't lose hope. She had given everything of hers to me for ten years, gave them to my care. Now it was my turn. I was determined to put everything f mine into getting her back. Nothing would stop me from achieving that.

At Grace's house, the tension in the air was thick enough to be sliced. I saw her face apathetic and emotionless, as she surveyed the room. After the heated encounter, accusations flying, livid retaliations and everything else, I was forced to blatantly reveal the truth about our marriage to my faithful, trusting family. My mother did the last thing that I expected. She slapped me with commendable strength. I didn't know how to react. Disbelief, chagrin and anger drove me to boycott the scene. I went to my car and put on some classical music. I leaned back on the seat and began my musings which presently led me back to the present. I opened my eyes and decided that I would not miss this opportunity to talk to Ana and explain to her how I feel. A letter would also serve the purpose but I was afraid that she would throw it into the fireplace. I wiped my cheeks off the tears, a glint appearing in my eye.

_**What do you think? Do you want the birthday scene, or would you prefer that I just gave a summary of it and moved on?**_


	9. Theodore's big day

Teddy's birthday was a small affair, as Teddy had wished it to be. He was awfully grown up for his age. He had wished to celebrate the birthday in the safe bosom of his family, his complete family and hopefully without any animosity coming in between any of us. He got it, thanks to my trademark outburst yesterday in front of my ex – family members. They had all now taken a final stand about which side they picked in the divorce. Mine. There was no malicious triumph, or smug sense of victory in me. At the same time, I didn't feel any pity towards my ex-husband. He had got what he deserved. After he fled the scene following the slap delivered by Grace, he returned and pretended that none of that happened. He was properly chagrined and looked every bit remorseful as he should've.

The party was held in Grace and Carrick's rooftop. It was beautifully decorated; by professionals, no doubt. Teddy grinned at all the pomp and show which he normally wasn't used to back home. I didn't indulge in pampering him. I gave him what he asked but nothing more, except on special occasions such as this.

He, like a proper little gentleman thanked his grandparents and father for all the trouble they'd taken. Christian had smiled ruefully and said, "I am your father, Ted. I am supposed to do all this. "

_Too bad you didn't realise that three years ago, _I thought. I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying that aloud. Grace was unusually silent and merely smiled distantly and Ted and ruffled his hair from time to time. She didn't even look at Christian. She relentlessly cast me pleading glances. Somehow, my forgiveness had become her life's ambition. I looked away each time, making it clear that forgiving her wasn't on my agenda any time soon.

The rest flocked around me, asking me questions about the years of my struggle to become a world class entrepreneur, but meanwhile paying sufficient attention to their nephew/grandson. I smiled to myself wryly. Although I didn't enjoy it, all this fawning by my own family seemed a bit hilarious and awkward. I dealt with the way I would've when I wasn't Ana-in-survival-mode; i.e. during my time with Christian.

A lot of games were played to indulge my son. Christian taught him how to play pool and poker, which I severely frowned upon, but this was Teddy's day, and he was eagerly looking at his father to learn the 'adult stuff' from him. I hadn't the heart to say no expressly. Christian looked at me not once during the entire party. I could only assume he was filled with shame, if he had any.

Kate was a little hesitant to speak to me as she was feeling awfully guilty about accusing me with hateful words. I knew she would come out of it eventually, but not so soon. Elliot was back to his old jovial teasing manner. I did observe, though, that he refrained from pulling my leg. That was the effect the shark had on people. He was, to put it plainly, a little afraid of me. So was everyone else, except for my parents. _They _were full of compliments for my single-handed upbringing of such a good-natured, well-mannered, lovely boy with practically no faults. I gracefully accepted them.

They did not, for once ask me about my fame or my company. I knew why. That was because they knew that it wasn't Ana in her entirety that had created her empire. It was a vengeful, power-driven, remorseless part of me who had formed a cyst around my raw wounds to protect myself from unfavourable conditions. The vengeful part of me, though, fed unstoppingly on the hostile environment thrown at her and thrived till she could. That was not the Ana that my parents had brought up. They knew that what I had created was for self-defence, a dormant emotion which I myself hadn't known existed. But my subconscious had woken it up the moment the situation arose. They didn't exactly approve of it, but they accepted that it was necessary, and that even though it might dim, it would never sleep again; never allow anyone to underestimate me ever again.

Teddy was showered with expensive gifts placed on every nook and corner of the rooftop. Expensive chocolates, top class swim gears, highly expensive surf boards and what not. He received a personalised briefcase which held the most expensive of gadgets – phones, tablets, notebooks, laptops, music players… Teddy was thrilled. He was gifted a large portrait which was actually a collage. Photos of his family, the three of us in Teddy's early childhood, from the various vacations we had taken, other happy memories. I was mesmerised by the collage. I drifted back to those happy times, wistfully. I was snapped back to reality when Teddy exclaimed about how much he liked his gift.

Christian then said that the whole party had to travel elsewhere for _his_ present to Teddy. I smirked internally. I didn't mean it to be pissing contest, but there was no way he could beat my outrageous present to my son. We followed my ex anyway and he led us to the place where _The Grace_ was docked. Next to it was a smaller, sleeker version of it, all white and shiny. "That, bud, is for you. We could have it transported to Florida if you want." Stated Christian nonchalantly.

Teddy was speechless. I admit even I looked at it appreciatively. Teddy's jaw fell and he staggered towards his speedboat. "Oh. My. Gawd!" He exclaimed. Christian was excited like a child. "You like it?" he asked eagerly.

"Are you kidding me? Because if this is a joke, I will kill you." Teddy said, seriously. Christian barked a laugh.

"No. That beauty there is ours. My present to you." Teddy ran up to it as did the rest, eager to explore the latest toy. Teddy exclaimed over and over again how amazing this gift was, and how much he loved his father. After the close inspection by all and comments of appreciation, Christian shouted loudly over the wind, "What will you name it?"

Teddy thought for a moment. He looked at his boat for a minute and turned to me. "_Anastasia_, I think." He said. Everyone was silent for a second and then stated their wholehearted approval. I was stunned. All my efforts to compete with Christian for his love weren't required. Even if I hadn't given him anything at all, I had already won the competition a long time ago.

I was a shark, capable of reducing even the strongest men to tears and here was a thirteen year old boy, who was capable of bringing out such emotions in me that I couldn't control. I was overwhelmed by this gesture and tears prickled my eyes. He turned to me and cocked his head to the side, as if asking for my permission. I nodded almost unnoticeably. I went to my son and hugged him tightly. "I love you so much," I whispered in his ear. He didn't reply but hugged me back ferociously. When we split apart, my eyes flooded over. He wiped the tear from my cheek and brought a watery smile on my face. I sob-laughed.

"You couldn't have named it better." Said Christian gruffly in a low voice. I still didn't look at him. Way to ruin the moment, Grey. I heard sniffles behind me. Everyone was getting emotional about this movie-like scene that had just taken place.

We left the place after having thoroughly admired the present, and headed off back to Grace's place. On the way, Ted expressed his desire for eating a full meal in one of the local diners. Amidst snobby gasps of horror, we stopped by at a diner. We occupied three booths and the server came to take the orders. I sat with Christian, Elliot and Kate. Great. Just my luck. When the food arrived, I went up there to buy a cup of coffee. I heard Christian following me.

"Ana, listen to me for a minute and don't interrupt." Christian said in a low volume, hurriedly. "You have no idea how much I regret doing the things that I did. The… uh… cheating and the... um… control obsession of mine. But yesterday, when you were… revealing everything to everyone, you mentioned something else which I was supposedly supposed to know. Now before you start talking, I have to tell you, Lucy Hale was drugging me for as long as I remained unfaithful to you. So I have no memory of the happenings on the nights that I returned home after our meetings." He said all this really fast, that I had to concentrate to get the whole thing. As he said all that, horror began to well inside my chest. My eyes were wide and I could sense them prickling. My lips parted in shock and I saw the rising alarm in Christian's face.

"Ana?" he said, concerned. I couldn't reply. I just stared at him agape. I was beyond words; beyond _thought._ All those years of torture… and he didn't even know about it? My coffee was ready and I picked it up with trembling hands. Christian took the cup from me and led me to the table. He placed the cup in front of me and had me sit. I forgot to even snap at him in my state of shock. I was stunned to say the least.

"Ana?" Christian whispered. "Please say something." I looked at him blankly. His words seemed to seep in through the layers of fog covering my mind.

"I… uh… have nothing to say." I declared, dazed. Christian frowned, a little 'v' forming between his brows.

"Are you sure you're okay? We could leave now." He offered. Something snapped inside me.

"Am I okay?" I said in a low furious tone. "I shivered just thinking of those memories which you apparently don't seem to have. No, I believe you. You wouldn't be stupid enough to face me after all that you have done if you actually _remembered _them. I was beyond shocked when you brought up the topic again, so much so that I was actually civil to you! I have nightmares every single bloody night about your memory-less nights. So, no, Christian; I am NOT okay." I finished, breathing heavily. He looked at me like an idiot who has just been slapped. I heard movement to my side and I turned. Elliot was looking at me with an expression of horror. He had heard my little speech. I groaned internally.

"Elliot," I said tiredly. "Just forget all of that. It's between us and I don't want you to mention it to anyone. Not even Kate." I glanced at him pleadingly but sternly at the same time. I don't know how I managed _that_. He nodded slowly, glaring at Christian as if saying, _we'll talk later._ I stood up and approached Raymond, extending my hand. He raised his brows. I glared at him. Surrendering, he gave my phone to me. Work. Work always calmed me down.

We reached Grace's place in the late evening. We were all assembled on the rooftop, where the decorations had now changed. Pretty white LED lights blinked everywhere I looked. The place almost seemed magical. Everyone was getting set with watching a marathon of Ted's favourite movies. I brought out my laptop and clicked on the browser. I entered a web address and clicked enter.

"Mom," Teddy whined, "Don't work on my birthday!" I smiled at him secretively.

"I'm not. My phone is with Raymond. I'm just showing you your present from me." I turned the laptop so that it faced him and watched in glee. "I can't take you there today as it's too late. Someday soon we'll visit it. Teddy gaped at the screen.

"You're giving me a beach house – no – beach mansion to me on my birthday?! Are you okay, Mom?" He asked worriedly. "You never spend like that! Especially on gifts!"

I chuckled. "Well, hon, I was in a good mood." I said, grinning. He squealed with delight and jumped to hug me. I showed him the pictures of the mansion and all the staff and everything else. Teddy seemed to be on the verge of passing out with joy. I smiled happily. Everything was alright as long as the person that mattered most – Ted was okay. I would forsake her company if that's what it took to make him happy.

The day ended on a happy note. Christian was content that Ted enjoyed the day. It showed in his face. The rest were joyous that they were able to reunite with me. In general, everybody was happy. Grace, somewhat hesitantly offered that I could crash at their place that night, but I immediately declined.

"Look, Grace, I am still angry with you, but that's not why I'm turning down your offer. I have already booked a suite at a hotel and I hate to see money go waste." I explained. She nodded disappointedly.

"I understand… and Ana? I am deeply sorry for every action of mine and I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me." She looked at me ashamed, chagrined and repentant. It was hard for her to get it all out, I noticed. I nodded briefly and turned away. There were a lot of hugs and kisses during the farewell time. I gave them my number and my email address. I promised that I would correspond regularly and left. Teddy was to crash at his dad's place and I was going to pick him up the next day and leave in my chopper.

I returned to the hotel, dog-tired and famished. Raymond, Brandon and Dean were with me and safely left me till my room. I locked the door and thoughtlessly fell asleep. I drifted off to hell. My own personal hell which haunted my every single night, unfailingly. The horrors of my marriage, Christian's vile, pervert acts taunted me repeatedly. I was unaware of the fact that I was screaming until I heard loud banging of the door and people yelling my name repeatedly. I woke up, feeling disoriented, scared and confused. I mechanically opened the door and the three burst in looking around the room, their guns out.

I wearily rubbed my forehead. I was harshly dragged back to reality. "Raymond. I was having a fucking nightmare. There's no danger." I told him tiredly. They looked astonished for a second.

"Ma'am," said Brandon. "It would help us the next time if you informed us of such details beforehand. We would not be in the constant fear of losing our necks." I bristled.

"I'll be sure to tell you next time. Now, get out!" I snapped. They quickly exited the room. This was a secret which no one knew and no one was supposed to know. I'd make that clear to them tomorrow. Until then, I hoped I would get restful sleep; which was futile because this was a common phenomenon which had become a regular part of my life.

**_Sorry, wasn't much. But things'll go faster from here, I promise. Thanks for the many reviews! Keep up the good work ;)_**


	10. Hell Hole

**A thousand apologies, from my side. With every review from you guys, the guilt weighed heavier in my mind. The creative juices stopped flowing and simultaneously, life happened. I shall endeavour to be a bit more regular, henceforth! Thank you for the many reviews. I don't deserve them.**

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I had just spent two days completely (well, sort of) relaxed in the presence of my family, and I felt the hard rock in my heart melting. I was allowing myself to remember, to feel, to reconcile. I felt rejuvenated, relieved and relaxed. I had really needed this, but I hadn't known it. I had so determinedly and defiantly, repeatedly told myself that I didn't need any of them and I could handle everything on my own. But I was wrong. I could handle everything but my own balance. Everything needed balance. If I could be an overbearing, commanding dictator, then I also needed to have a soft, tender side of me shared among an equal amount of people. I had long suppressed my 'emo' persona, but now, I was ready to let go of my hold and live. I decided to take a long-due break. I was letting down my hair, finally and literally. (I almost always wore a pony tail or a tight bun. It made me look like a strict headmistress of a posh British school.)

So when I did let my hair down, (in a stylized, sophisticated manner, of course) and smiled at the people who wished me a good morning, people were naturally surprised, doing a double take. Some of their jaws dropped and they stared at me with wide eyes. It was around 8 in the evening and people were naturally surprised that I hadn't been in since morning. "Good evening, Stella." I wished her, flashing a full-on smile. She blinked twice.

"G-good evening to you too, Ms Steele." she stammered. I grinned. _This is so much fun, _I thought gleefully. I finally realised how fun fun could be, if that made any sense.

"Stella, clear my schedule for the rest of the month. I am taking off for some time." she blinked again.

"M-ma'am?" she stuttered in disbelief. Sunnily, I repeated my statement patiently. Stella loved her job and so, she heard it right this time. She seemed to still be reeling in shock. I hadn't snapped at her even once today and a whole minute had passed. I blinked with shock internally. Had I been such a bitch? I had a sinking feeling that the people around me would nod vigorously to the same question.

"I shall expect no calls unless heavy losses are about to happen, someone is dying or the company is in serious jeopardy. Do you understand me _clearly_?" I emphasised, my eyes boring into hers.

"Yes, Ma'am." She nodded in the affirmative.

"Good." I said. I entered my office, shoved a few things into my briefcase very disorganisedly and exited the building. I heard whispers around me as I walked and a lot of hushing. My lips curved ever so slightly. Raymond opened the door for me and then started the engine.

"Where to, Ma'am?" he asked. I took a deep breath. I felt like I was literally relieving all the pressure in my system.

"Raymond, my dear, take me to the cheapest and cheesiest pub you know of. And get rid of that ridiculous penguin suit. I don't know why I even let you wear that." I said, shaking my head disappointedly. Raymond coughed.

"Is it maybe because a driver/bodyguard/steward is supposed to wear a penguin suit?" He said, innocently. I gave him a mock glare.

"Thou speak too much. Ride on, knave!" I heard him chuckle.

We reached a small shanty like place which had red and green neon lights proclaiming that the name of the place was _Hell Hole_. I rolled my eyes. Pfft. Lame. I got down from my expensive car, took my purse and entered the pub. Thankfully, most were so drunk that they didn't recognise me. But the night was still young, and my main motto was incognito.

I decided I would have a normal person's typical night. Drink, flirt, dance and… go home with someone. Somewhere in the corner of my mind, my subconscious was lecturing and glaring at me, giving me major guilt trips. I put a tape over her mouth quickly and shut her up. I wasn't going to feel guilty. It had been three years and I was allowed to have fun. And God only knew how many of _those_ contracts Christian had signed.

"Vodka, please." I told the bartender. I spoke in that polished voice of mine, which sounded very stuck-up and arrogant. I worked on 'informalising' my accent. The bartender put a tiny umbrella with those olives in it. I took it happily. I had had an aversion to drinks ever since my ex's drunken episodes. I could not stand to look at them. I was improving and coming out of it. I was finally coming to terms with it, and that too without an expensive charlatan.

As I sipped the drink, I saw many people of the male variety checking me out and having that dopey grin on their faces. Instead of being angry or annoyed, I was pleased. It was good to know that you were desirable. Christian had made me feel like a sex toy. I sat down on a couch and waited for something eventful to happen. I shouldn't have wished for that. Something eventful continually happened in my life.

A group of four, five boys approached me, grinning and stud-like. They looked like college students, children. Across the room, I saw Raymond begin to walk towards me. I signalled him to stay where he was. I wanted to go with the flow.

The boys sat around me and I gave them an innocent smile. "Hey, I'm Jason. You are…?" He asked in what he assumed was a deep, sexy voice. I wanted to laugh, but I played along.

"Ana." I said, still smiling.

"Ana, A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Said another boy to my left. "I'm Paul, by the way."

"Hello, Paul." I smiled flirtatiously and shook his hand. Jason threw an arm around my shoulder. I stiffened a little.

"What do you say we buy you a drink?" He said, raising his brows.

"Sure!" I agreed, with pseudo enthusiasm. We walked to the bartender and they ordered drinks for everyone. Paul was busy flirting with me, guessing my age, the oh-man-you-look-so-young talk and all that, when I heard a commotion behind me.

"What do you think you're doing?" demanded an adult male voice. I spun around and saw a _very _handsome man clutching Jason's wrist. I saw Raymond right behind the man. I blinked, not understanding. I heard some shuffling behind me and I saw all the other boys exit the pub.

"What's going on?" I asked the man. He was glaring at the boy and his features became less hostile when he looked at me.

"This kid was putting drugs in your drinks." He told me. I turned to him. The boy wore a panic-stricken expression.

"This is what you do for fun? Flirt with girls, drug them and rape them? You are _despicable._" I said hotly. I spat on his face, snatched the powder packet and threw its contents on him. I was livid. I had come very close to being exploited again. I heard Raymond talking on the phone. I bet all my assets that he was calling the police.

I turned my attention back to Jason. "You can let go of him now." I told the man quietly. He did as I told. Then I balled my fists and punched him in the groin. He yelled out in pain and kept up a constant stream of colourful curses. Kids these days, unbelievable. "Yeah," I said. "_That's_ how it hurts."

Raymond caught hold of the guy, twisted his arms and dragged him outside. From the corner of my eye, I saw Brandon replace him. "Thank you," I told the man, suddenly shy. A bar, a sexy man, me-slightly tipsy, the entire ambience made a sense of déjà vu sweep over me. The man looked stunned. I guess you don't see many ball-bashing girls these days. "My… friend would've caught him if you weren't here. Nevertheless, that's a nice thing you did."

I felt heat blazing on my cheeks for the first time in years. Good God, was I _blushing_? Over an attractive guy? Scratch that, a very hot, sexy guy? I guess I was. I was obviously stronger mentally this time than my weak, helpless older self. But this basic reaction to the male species felt good, somehow.

"It was no problem." The man said. "And Ms Steele, I read the papers and watch the news. I know who you are, and who your 'friend' is too. Please, don't insult my intelligence."

"I've barely known you for a minute. How would I know whether you possessed a minimal level of intelligence or not?" I teased him. He raised an eyebrow. That did things to me. He looked so… sexy doing that.

"I did protect you from roofies, didn't I?" He asked, giving me a lopsided grin. It was so careless and had that devil-may-care attitude. I felt a thrill of anticipation. Firstly, I hadn't had sex in a very long time. It was almost as if I had become celibate. Secondly, I hadn't had a decent carefree conversation with a normal person for a long time, and I longed for some friendly human company.

I gazed into his eyes. They say that the eyes are windows to a person's soul. They were dark brown, bordering black. They were clear and straightforward. I liked that. He raised a brow. I quickly looked down, blushing. I could almost see him smirking. He obviously knew the effect he had on me. "So what do you do… oh, I don't even know you're name yet!" I said, a little surprised. He grinned.

"William Roberts, freelance writer and journalist. Call me Will." He extended his hand and I shook it, giving him a flirtatious smile. My subconscious angrily shook awake my inner goddess, who immediately woke up and paid rapt attention to the on going happenings.

I reached into my purse and drew out a card and gave it to me. "Anastasia Steele. Call me Ana." I said, still smiling. "I need to go now. Give me a call some time."

I stood up and signalled to Brandon that I was leaving. I walked out of the room as Brandon followed me. I saw Raymond wrap up the police business and walk over towards us.

"Leaving early, Ma'am? I didn't think you would." He said, wryly.

"Impertinent lad. Raymond, when you've known men as well as I have, you will know not to jump into anything quickly." I said, sounding sagely.

"That would be a little difficult, Ma'am. I am quite straight and, as you put it, wouldn't 'jump into anything' with them.

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**What do you think?**


	11. Remorse

**For those of you who were dissatisfied with my earlier chapter, so was I. It was a bridging chapter, instrumental in my overcoming of my writer's block. As usual, thanks for the many reviews. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always appreciated. This one, hopefully, is much better. Oh, and for those who pointed out my spelling errors, I usually have an impeccable spelling sense. The mistakes a merely overlooked typos.**

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**CPOV**

The little scene in the restaurant left Christian bemused and worried. Anxiety was crawling all over him and he could find no source from which he could obtain the information that he was supposed to have known, that had frightened Ana so much that she refused to speak of it, that could possibly have been the main reason that she left him. He was so terror-struck by what he would find out; that a part of him didn't want to know what had happened during his blackouts.

He had been beyond stupid, doing possible atrocious acts deliberately, driving the reason of his existence out of his life. There were different things he could have done for her in the present situation, had the circumstances been different. He could unashamedly confess that he would stoop to the level of using Teddy to guilt trip her and weasel her back into his life. But she had everything with her, and there was nothing he could give her that she didn't have. He hated that fact.

After his son and Ana left for Florida, he desperately combed what was left of his intelligence to think of a person who might know the truth. Taylor was the first name that popped to his mind. Although embarrassed to ask him and thoroughly ashamed, that feeling was driven out by his need to know the truth. He lay in his bed when these thoughts occurred to him. Immediately he jumped out of the bed and snapped open his phone.

"Taylor, meet me in the hall." He said. It was a lazy afternoon and he had taken the day off to moon over the perfection of his ex-wife's features. And wallow, of course.

He ran down the stairs and saw Taylor standing there. With a stoic expression on his face, he asked him:

"When Ana and I… we were still married, do you know what I… did on those nights I came home drunk?" He was nervous on the inside but seemed almost business-like on the exterior. Taylor, who had almost 8 years of experience with his employer, saw right through him. Almost kindly, he replied:

"I am not aware, Mr Grey, as I used to do a thorough security check before going inside the house. Although…" he hesitated, hiding some information.

"What? What is it? I can handle it, spit it out!" Christian half-shouted. Taylor hid a small grin.

"It's nothing of that sort, Sir. I was about to say that I do know a person who might be able to provide the information you're looking for, although it might be a little difficult."

"Who is it?" He asked eagerly. "I can extract what I want from anybody," he said dismissively, "that won't be a problem." Taylor closed his eyes and shuddered, very unlike his normally composed stature.

"Sir, this is not a force to be underestimated. It is of the female, _angry_ variety." He said conspiratorially, looking dead serious. Christian was now exasperated.

"Out with it, now!" He snapped.

"Gail, Sir. My wife."

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They had reached Taylor's residence. Christian was trembling (figuratively) with anticipation. He got out of the car and headed towards the front door. He remembered how, three years ago, the moment she had found out about Ana leaving him, she had literally thrown down her apron in front of him and furiously handed her verbal resignation, making it clear that she didn't care for whether he accepted it or not. She was adamant that she wouldn't live in Christian's house anymore. That was when Taylor popped the question and they moved out to the house that Christian had arranged for the two.

Women. The thought of them made his body shudder involuntarily. All his life he had been able to manipulate them with his good looks, sweet words and a gigantic bank account. Women like his wife – ex-wife – and Gail made him think twice about them being malleable creatures.

He knocked thrice on the door. Seconds later, Gail opened the door. Her cheerful expression disappeared instantly. She gave him a cold, frigid look. Taylor entered the house and ushered Christian in, for Gail didn't look like she would. He took Christian's coat and hung it on to a stand. The moment Gail saw what he was wearing her face slowly turned puce with rage.

"You have the nerve to come to my house and wear a _wifebeater_?! You think this is some kind of a joke, do you? Do you think-?" Taylor cut in here as he steered his wife towards the couch and made her sit. He gestured towards Christian to sit too.

"Honey, Mr Grey wants to ask you a few questions and please, for my sake, answer them properly without losing your temper." He whispered pleadingly into her ear. She glared at Christian, fuming.

When Taylor sat down beside Gail, Christian explained to her about Lucy and the drugs. His voice constricted untheatrically in all the right places, which convinced Gail – to some extent – that he was remorseful.

She had lost the glare, but she was breathing heavily. She had listened all the while in silence. "So you want to know what happened, do you?" She asked. He nodded a little fearfully, Gail observed with some satisfaction. "I was there, every time. The first couple of times I might have missed it, but one day, you had left the door ajar, by mistake I think. I heard her screams resounding through the house. I shut the door of Theodore's room and rushed to see what happened. When I saw you not in the Red Room, but in your bedroom, and saw the terror on her face, I realised what was happening. I was transfixed. I couldn't believe that you, of all people whom I had believed in, could do such a horrible thing.

"You are getting frustrated, I can see that. You really want to know? You raped her, nearly every day. You beat her on every inch of her body. I could see her swollen lip and her limp when she came down for breakfast, pretending everything was normal. I could see the purple bruises on her arms, which she usually tried to cover by wearing a jacket. You ploughed on into her even when she wasn't ready. You beat her into submission when she tried to defend herself. I saw and heard many of these incidents happening. I stuck around only for Ana and when she left, I realised I had no business in her house.

"The way she divorced you and beat you at your game, I'm proud of her. I knew she had it in her. But you broke her in a way that no one else could or would. You shattered a part of her soul. She will never be the person she was, the happy carefree Ana ever again, and that is all because of you. The blame lies on no one else."

Christian had frozen in the place where he was sitting, staring at the wall, his eyes strangely glazed. He was muttering something soundlessly. His lips were moving and nothing else. Tears had collected in his eyes. He didn't know what to say, what to do. So many emotions were flowing around in his head that he didn't know which one to address first.

After a few minutes, Taylor became worried. "Mr Grey? Mr Grey!" he called out, loudly. When Christian didn't move, Gail went inside and brought him a glass of water. She pulled his palm and wrapped it around the glass. He jerked back from wherever he was and looked at the glass and at her, surprised. Unconsciously, he drank the water.

Inside his head, various thoughts were swiveling around. The foremost one was about his mother's pimp. He remembered his dreams of the pimp beating and abusing his mother, remembered his revulsion of such acts. Though he believed that he had committed these atrocities, he could not wrap his head around the fact that he had done exactly what he despised.

Disbelief was clouded by grief. He hadn't done this on a lay person, but on the love of his life. The very notion was debauched and the thought, the graphic images made him sick. Her reaction in the restaurant was completely justified in hindsight. Tears flowed down his cheeks. What had he done? _What had he done?_

Although some part of his brain was aware of two people beside him, he broke into nerve-wracking sobs and buried his face in his hands. He could imagine the look on Ana's face, her pleas. He would have torn apart the person who did this to her under different circumstances. In this one, he felt like inflicting himself with double the amount of pain that his beloved suffered.

"There's no use." Said the flat voice of Gail. "No use of thinking of killing yourself. No use of crying over spilt milk. Remorse has already come to you. You need to correct your mistake, not continue regretting it."

Her practical words yanked him out of his despair. He stared at Gail in stunned silence. Taylor was ready to yank his wife out of his boss' path. He was worried of lack of self-preservation.

Christian got up slowly, put his jacket back on and looked at Gail once again. "I'm sorry about the shirt. I didn't realise it's significance." He said quietly. "Will you come back and work for me?"

Gail gave him a small smile, shaking her head. "Get her back, Mr Grey and I'll come back to you myself, automatically."

He nodded, unsmilingly. He turned and got back into his car. While Taylor drove him home, not a single word was uttered. One thing was clear to Christian. Never again would he ever commit a mistake regarding Anastasia Rose Steele, and he would do everything in his power to rectify the ones he had already made, and make sure that they _would _be rectified.

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**Reviews quench the thirst of this writer. :)**


	12. Hale Storm

**Thanks for all the great reviews!**

**Guest: I realise I might've written about Gail a little OOC, but what's done is done. My mantra is, 'It's a Fanfiction'! Thanks for pointing it out, though.**

**Cynthia74: Christian was gone by the next morning... he didn't spare a glance.**

**loves4paws: The dreams were about the pimp, as in the original FSOG.**

**Everybody else: Thank you! Read on...**

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The woman's pale hands gripped the old, regal armchair. Hair long, blood red fingernails stood out in contrast to the pale setting of the room. She walked around the chair slowly, as if (and probably) hatching a plot. A slight frown marred her beautiful features, her red lips pressed into a line. She was annoyed. Highly. And when she was annoyed, it wasn't good for the soul at which her foul mood was targeted at.

The girl had fucked up, well and good. She had been terrified of golden boy's threats and had suddenly developed a conscience. All that careful planning and training… for months, had gone down the drain. She wondered distractedly why people were so inept at whatever job they did. It was as if no one but she could do anything right. Her slight anger made the veins in her hands protrude as she gripped the arm harder.

Regardless of the fact that the girl had fucked up, her plan had gone painfully awry. She fumed inwardly at the way Anastasia Steele had reacted to the divorce. She had underestimated the girl, and she was now facing the consequence. If only she hadn't found out in that manner, if only she could've been broken more, if only her spirit could've been destroyed, she would've won.

If only…

It was useless to think of what could have happened. There was no use crying over spilt milk. Her aim was to destroy her happiness, and she would fulfil it. If not Plan A, Plan B, then. But Plan B had to be spectacular, like a grand finale. She would either achieve her goal or die doing it, the woman thought fiercely.

She turned around to the girl sitting on the opposite chair, gazing at the fireplace. "Ms Hale!" she snapped. The girl jerked her face towards her employer. "Here's what you will do next."

As she spoke in a cunning, calculative tone, Lucy's face became more and more withdrawn and shrivelled up. The woman ruthlessly spoke; every word of hers like a sword on Lucy's being, making her wince. She knew she didn't stand a chance. She felt like a soldier from Tennyson's _Charge of the Light Brigade._ She, like those dutiful soldiers, had no choice.

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_Miami Beach, Florida_

"Bikinis, Raymond, are women's greatest tool." The CEO of Steele Enterprises announced. They were on the Miami Beach and she, like any commoner had spread out a blanket, had an umbrella put over her head. She sprawled across the blanket, surveying the beach on her elbows. "They give you this… self-confidence, a boost to your ego, a sense of narcissism. One feels as if everyone is looking at her, and everyone would love to come and talk to her. Especially creatures of the male variety."

"I assure you, Ms Steele, you are absolutely right." Said Raymond wryly, looking at the number of men eyeing her.

"Of course I am. I always am right. You should know that by now." Ana said, smiling. "Now tell me, which of these fine men should I ask to help me put on my sunscreen lotion?" She was having a blast, taking time off for herself. She had forgotten what it felt like, indulging herself.

"None." He replied bluntly. "This is too open a place. I'm surprised that the paparazzi aren't here yet."

Ana gave noncommittal grunt. She was partly relieved, though. Ever since that incident in that unruly pub, she had been feeling enormously guilty. She hadn't been on the dating scene since high school. After the divorce, though, she felt she was betraying _him_ by 'coming out' in the open again. Sure, there was a belligerent albeit practical part of her mind that said that there was no one to betray; and if anyone had done the betrayal, it was him. Yet, the nagging feeling of guilt persisted. Every time she checked out a guy, the guilt appeared in her mind. She was getting slightly annoyed with herself.

Living in her head was becoming difficult.

Change of topic, she thought. That man, Will, seemed nice. He seemed like a perfect gentleman – in a pub. Then again, Christian had also seemed nice. Suddenly the long-forgotten contract resurfaced in her memory. She giggled. Not so nice, perhaps.

She sat up quickly. She realised that she had come to the stage where she could joke about her marriage. This surprised her… in a good way. She heard light footsteps behind her and saw Brandon carrying a glass of cranberry juice. She took it and sipped it gratefully. The sweltering heat was certainly not facilitating her good mood.

At that moment, her phone rang. Raymond picked it up and frowned at the unknown number. "Anastasia Steele's phone." He said brusquely. "The pu-? Oh, yes, of course." He handed the phone to Ana, mouthing, 'Will'. She raised her brows and bit her lips, a sign of conflict in her brain.

"Hello, Will!" She exclaimed. _No, don't. Don't you dare come back, Guilt._

"Ana! I was afraid that guy would shove me away like hundreds of your other suitors." He said, only half-joking. Ana laughed.

"No, he wouldn't do that. Remember my specific instructions?" She said. _I'm pushing you away now, and you will NOT come back, Guilt._

"Yeah. Listen, I was wondering, I am attending a charity function that I'm invited to this Friday. Would you like to come as my date?" He asked hopefully. There was a nervous edge to his voice.

"Sure! I would be delighted to. Who is hosting it?" she asked pleasantly. _Do NOT glare at me that way. Don't sink your teeth into me, now._

"A high society friend of mine. Don't worry; it will be classy, not your average dinner."

"Hey, I'm not prissy! I socialise in all circles!" She protested as he laughed. It sent a warm buzz through her being. _Go away, please. (Great strength of will applied) Yes! You are gone, you demon! Until next time!_

"I'll pick you up at five, then?" He asked.

"Okay, I'll see you, then." She smiled as she cut the call. She tossed the phone on her blanket and stood up, brushing off the sand from her body. "I am exhilarated." She smiled sunnily, and ran towards the sea, getting into the water, and enjoying the heat of the sun mixed with the cool of the water.

* * *

_Meanwhile…_

Lucy Hale stood up, trembling slightly. Regret washed through her like a tidal wave. She didn't meet the older woman's eye, lest she found out about the hesitancy that was surely inundating her eyes. She nodded jerkily at her and walked towards the door. A knock at the door startled her.

"Come in!" Said the woman. A boy no more than twenty entered the room. He glanced at Lucy and then at the woman.

"You called for me, Mistress?" He inquired. The woman gave a strained smile as a feeling of horror mingled with disgust grew within Lucy.

"Yes, Peter. Lucy, close the door behind you, honey."

Lucy quickened her pace and closing the door behind her, hurried outside. She was gasping for breath by the time she was outside the gates. The scene that was just played- ugh, her choice of words had to be commended. The… incident that just took place brought about revulsion within her. She couldn't believe that a person could be so twisted.

Anyway, she brought her head back to her assigned job. She picked up her phone as she walked on the pavement and searched for the name of a journalist. She called him up and held the phone near her ear.

"Hi, this is Lucy. Lucy Hale. I believe I will be able to tell you the reason why the Greys divorced, three years ago… Yes… yes." She breathed deeply. Then, summoning all the theatre training she had received, she put a winning smile on her face. _I'm sorry, Mr Grey._ "Yeah, I thought you might be interested…"

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_Two Hours Later_

Christian Grey had sworn to himself that he wouldn't touch any woman or form of spirit unless a certain woman re-entered his life or gave her express permission that he could do so. If it meant abstinence, from _everything_, then he would do it. It was a form of penance.

Yet, as he collapsed on the sofa in front of the television, he felt the irresistible urge towards that top drawer in the kitchen, which had been his solace two and half years ago. He was undergoing a personal 'shitgasm', a climax of shittiness. He was trying to make out sense out of the blurry haze that was usually a part of him on the nights he came home drunk... or drugged. It frustrated him that he knew nothing of what he'd done to his wife. Ex-wife, he reminded himself. It hurt to think of her that way. If he had had consciousness, he wouldn't have even dreamt in his dream about inflicting such emotional and physical pain on her. He had had a fleeting thought about visiting a hypnotist, but he hastily (and very embarrassedly) brushed that thought away. He already knew what he had to know; what more was there to tell? – He had told himself.

Realising that he was going deep into 'regret mode', he jerked back from his reverie and switched on his television and tuned it to the news channel. His heart jumped to his throat; his heart rate increased and his eyes widened.

A reporter sat behind a desk and photographs of him and Ana at various dinners, charity functions and award ceremonies appeared on the screen. Then, a more recent one at the award ceremony.

"…Hale, who works for the prestigious PR company, admits that the affair went on for nearly three years, during which, she said, Christian Grey was nothing like the man he was portrayed to be. An email accidentally left open at Grey's computer at his residence was read by the now Ms Steele which ultimately led to the sad split…"

"Fuck!" Christian swore agitatedly. "Fuck you, Hale!"

"You already did." Taylor said quietly. Christian, who hadn't noticed his presence, jumped.

"Taylor," he growled. "Not the time for wisecracks. Give me a phone." He demanded. Taylor fished his pocket and handed it over to Christian silently. Christian feverishly dialled Ana's number. _Pick it up, please._

"Anastasia Steele's phone." That dratted man had answered the phone.

"Christian Grey. Can I talk to her?" He said hurriedly.

"Ms Steele… um… is having a shower. Can I take a message?" He said, discomfited.

"Well, it's an emergency! I don't care where she is! Hand over the phone to her!" He yelled, slightly hysterical.

"Sir, Ms Steele trusts me with her life. Surely she would with an emergency? Besides, I will be in the thick of it, sooner or later." Said Raymond, slightly annoyed. By now, Taylor had grabbed the phone from Christian.

"Jason Taylor, Head of Security speaking. Mr Raymond, the reason for the Greys' divorce has been publicised by the other… uh… woman. Lucy Hale. Mr Grey just wanted to provide a word of caution." He said.

"Thank you. I shall pass on the news to Ms Steele and do the necessary." Raymond said and ended the call. Taylor returned the phone to his pocket. Christian sank back on the sofa, muttering – "What do I do, what do I do?"

He sprang up and walked to the glass wall of his. A row of reporters stood in front of the gates. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Alert the PR team. Inform my parents and the rest of my family. Increase security at all offices. No reporter should enter any building of mine. Damage control, Taylor." Taylor nodded and turned to leave.

"Oh, and about the charity fun- never mind. You go on."

* * *

_Half an Hour Later…_

Ana strapped on her cream coloured wedges and adjusted the straps. She stood up, opened the door and stepped out, beaming. Raymond stood there, looking sombre. She recognised the expression.

"What happened? Is it Teddy?"

"Lucy Hale…" Ana stiffened. "…has gone public. She has revealed the details of the affair to the media. Every website, every TV channel has been running the same news for the past hour."

"_Hour?!" _she screeched. "It has been going on for an hour and no one thought to tell me?!" She turned away from him and climbed down the stairs hurriedly. Raymond followed her, muttering apologies. Ana stopped in front of the television and switched it on. As she saw her history being rehashed and every dirty secret that Lucy Hale was pouring out of her vile mouth, her hand went up to her mouth. "Oh, sweet Jesus." She whispered, collapsing on the chair.

Suddenly, her gears, which had stopped working for a few seconds, restarted with renewed vigour. Raymond watched as the expression on her face changed.

"Double security in all my offices. I don't want any sneaky bastard sniffing around there. Mike," she looked at the third personal guard of hers. "Attend to the calls. Your job is to keep 'no comment'-ing. Put Blake on line. Alert the PR team, just in case. And Raymond, restrain the press as much as you can."

She was handed a phone with Blake on the other end. "Blake, pick Teddy up after school, clear his schedule. Remind the school of the confidentiality contract that we signed. Don't tell him a thing. If he asks questions, tell him that I'll come home later and explain everything. That goes for you too Mike, and Joanna too. And remember to cut his access to the media." She ordered and cut the call. In an undertone, she muttered, "I hate hiding this from him."

She then pulled out her own phone as Raymond and Brandon snapped into action. She called Will up. He answered on the second ring. "Ana. Hey."

"Were you the one she called?" She asked him to the point.

"No." He answered. The clever man realised when not to speak.

"Well, listen, then. You will pick me up and we will go as usual. Nothing is going to change. I need to show the media that I'm not hiding. Is that okay with you?" She asked.

"I'm nearly there." He answered, and ended the call. Raymond then spoke up, quietly.

"Is this an inappropriate time to tell you that it was Mr Grey who warned us about this in the first place?"

She gave him a look that would've left any other man pissing in his pants for a week.

* * *

**Reviews, my dears.**


	13. Aftermath

The buzz of cameras clicking and the people shouting out questions died down as Will and Ana entered the main hall. There were elegant chairs set up around many tables. There was a dais like structure put up in front of the arrangement. The room smelt divine, what with the lavenders, roses, freesia, jasmines and other sweet smelling flowers. Ana instantly calmed down, courtesy the peaceful ambience; and she breathed much easily when she sat down at a table. William pulled her chair and seated her (rather gentlemanly, Ana thought) and sat down himself.

"Ana, listen. I was not the one whom _she_ called, but…" He paused hesitantly, not meeting her eyes. "I was directly involved with the news. I have a short contract with a newspaper and I was forced to participate, even though I protested, on pain of being fired." He looked at her with a vulnerable expression, although he didn't realise it. She sighed and closed her eyes, massaging her head.

"It's okay. It's fine. The whole fiasco would have happened anyway." She said kindly. _Why are men usually apologising so much to me, these days?_

William looked visibly relieved. "I know we don't know each other much, but I-I am here for you, if you need anyone." He said.

"Thanks, Wi- oh, for heaven's sake, can't they shut the fuck up?" she said furiously as the din of the paparazzi increased considerably. A minute later, she found out why.

Christian Grey had also been invited to the function.

"Someone, get me a fucking aspirin!" she said loudly, aghast at the presence of the man who was the sole cause of all the misery in her life. Brandon rushed out to the limo and brought it for her. She looked at it with some surprise, but thanked him fervently for it.

"It's okay," William said quickly. "He's not going to come over, and this function is going to get over very soon. I promise." She looked up from the napkin she was scrunching up. He saw that her eyes were strained and red from all the pressure. "Hey," he said gently, taking the napkin out of her hands. He took her hands in his own and clasped it firmly. Strangely, it comforted her.

"I can handle all this bullshit. I can take all of it, but what I'm worried about is what I should tell my son." She confessed, her voice trembling slightly. He dragged his chair a little closer to hers and put his arm around her shoulder. She sagged against him and leaned against his shoulder.

At that point, William realised how much burden she had been taking on herself all these years, and how, being rich didn't ease the responsibility of being a single mom. She carried it around her and didn't show it to anybody and best of all, didn't complain. She suddenly went several notches higher in William's eyes.

* * *

In the past ten minutes, Christian went through so many emotionally conflicting thoughts which would have taken a normal person about an hour.

He was feeling extremely stressed because of all the 'Lucy' fiasco.

He was feeling guilty for having had an affair with her, and for having cheated on the most wonderful person on the planet.

He was feeling guilty for having subjected this particular person to media's glare more often than necessary in a lifetime. (That too, for all the wrong reasons)

He was feeling relieved that they had escaped the paparazzi and finally entered the hall.

He was feeling a mixture of horror and sadness as he spotted Ana from across the room. Perplexity was also one of the feelings at having sighted her.

He was feeling a unhealthy sense of curiosity at whom she had come there with. This could also be termed as jealousy, which he had no right to feel.

He was feeling devastated as he noticed the expression on her face, and knowing he was cause.

He was feeling acute jealousy to the point of pain as that bastard put his hands around her.

He was feeling rage, blinding pure, unadulterated rage when he saw her _relax_ in his arms, something she had done previously only with him; and when he saw that son of a bitch plant a kiss on her head.

As he sat at his table playing with his phone, Christian thought that Dr Flynn would have been proud of how he had been able to analyse, identify _and_ determine the reasons behind the emotions. He kept glancing at the pair, who were now saying things to each other softly and smiling as if they shared a secret. He didn't realise that most people in the room were glancing at _him_ and Ana trying to extract some juicy gossip. He sighed, frustrated. If he didn't go and talk to her soon, he would explode. He felt annoyed that one woman had such enormous control over his life.

Thankfully, the old geezer on the podium had stopped speaking. He clapped politely along with the rest. Then the auction began. The guests were free to walk around and mingle. Christian sprang up and walked briskly towards her. He didn't know what he would say. All he was prepared for was some serious tongue-lashing by the shark.

She looked up hearing his footsteps. She noted with some surprise that she could still identify the sound of that. She mentally braced herself. Strangely, she didn't have it in her to be sharky today. She had a migraine. He gave William a once-over –with distaste, of course – and politely shook his hand. They were introduced to each other. He turned to Ana. She nearly stumbled back at the amount of pain she saw in his eyes.

"Sorry doesn't cover it." He muttered. "I don't know what does, but all I know is that I… loathe myself. Especially now." He said, glancing at Will. "I… wanted to apologise. I never meant for any of this to happen, to cause you so much anguish.

Ana shook her head. "It's alright. Really. I don't give a damn about the publicity."

Christian bowed his head morosely. His head suddenly snapped back up. "What about Ted?" he asked fearfully.

"He will have to know. There's no other choice." Christian shook his head.

"No, who… who will tell him?" He asked worriedly. "I could do it if you want me to." He offered. Ana sighed.

"He will hate your guts later. And then hate you forever. He looks up to you so much. Handling the news coming from me will be much easier." She said tiredly.

"You're right. Tell him… tell him I'm sorry, for putting him through this and having the affair in the first place." He mumbled in an undertone. Will had tactfully left, that gentleman. Ana gave him a small smile.

"Alright, Mr Grey." She said indulgently. She was so emotionally drained by the happenings; she didn't know how she would handle revealing the news to Ted. She sighed. "My date's waiting. Goodbye, Mr Grey."

He was choked up and didn't trust himself to speak. He nodded once and watched the most beautiful woman turn around and leave. There was a dull throbbing pain in his heart. It hurt to hear her say only his last name. It hurt even more (strangely enough) that she hadn't yelled at him, but had merely looked disappointed and fatigued. That was more difficult to handle. He felt like a vulnerable, little boy all of a sudden. It didn't help that he had to fly back to a huge empty house.

* * *

"Vodka, Ma'am?" Brandon asked from the front seat in the car. She gave a strained smile and accepted it, gulping it up in one go. Brandon looked with wide eyes, but wisely didn't say anything. She looked pensively out of the window. William had left on his own, carrying apologies and promises from her. He had said that he understood and had told her not to worry. Ana breathed deeply and tried to draw her strength from her reserves.

The gates of her house opened automatically and the car pulled in. Brandon opened the door and she stepped out. Clutching her purse she entered the house. Ted was sitting on the kitchen slab. She stopped in front of him. He looked at her.

"You're back." He said, tentatively, assessing her mood. She nodded. Relieved, he went on. "Mom, what's going on? What are you all hiding from me?" He demanded exactly like his father. Ana couldn't restrain her tears anymore. She put a hand over her eyes and sobbed once._ You don't know what he's thinking. Stop crying or he'll misinterpret it._

Teddy was startled. He leaned forward and touched her hand. "Mom?" He said softly. She shook her head as if reprimanding herself.

"I'll be back." She choked out. Minutes later, she had had a shower and was now ready – somewhat – to spill the beans to her son. He was now sitting in the living room. She smiled at him and sat next to him.

"I am not going to beat around the bush, Theo. The reason why your father and I split has been displayed to the whole world today." She said pausing. When he didn't say anything, she continued. "Your-father-was-having-an-affair-with-another-wom an-and-I-found-out. That's why we divorced."

* * *

**Extra brownie points for insanely quick update? Can it translate to reviews? :D**


	14. Reaction

**Sorry, sorry, sorry. I am not worthy of your reviews. I am so sorry. I had my exams going on, and my internet privileges were taken away from me. A couple of more chapters are to follow soon.**

**Another thing I wanted to add is that I know this story is screwed up. I began it on a whim. And I posted it, and it just grew in disproportionate ways. But since it has already grown, even though I'd like to, I don't want to change stuff from the beginning. So forgive me if it gets a little confused. It will stabilize in a while.**

**There are many people who are enjoying my story so I'm continuing for them. So if you don't like the theme, the strong language or any concept in it, then the solution is simple. DON'T READ IT. If you have constructive criticism for the FURTHER DEVELOPMENT of the story rather than the CONSTANT CRIBBING, I urge you to review.**

**Sorry if I sounded a little harsh. Enjoy.**

* * *

Ted continued to stare at his mother, his lips parting with a slight 'pop'. Ana breathed deeply, as if she had just run a marathon. It hurt to say that aloud, to admit it. Even after so much time, tears started gathering in her eyes, as she looked at Ted waiting expressionlessly for a reaction. After what seemed like aeons, she cleared her throat, breaking the tension like glass shattering on the floor.

Ted blinked finally. "You're serious." He said in a serious, very un-childlike voice. She didn't respond; it wasn't a question. He climbed off the couch and turned towards her. "If he ever asks me to take me out somewhere again, tell him I don't ever want to see him again." He said in a hollow, lifeless voice, like a person whose most fundamental beliefs were shattered.

"Ted, don't-" Ana began, desperately.

"Mom, don't. Not now." He cut in. He nearly ran upstairs to his room. Ana remembered her promise to Christian and hurried behind him.

"Teddy. I met him today, at the auction. He says he is sorry that he did that, and he means it. He says that he is sorry that you have to go through this. Come on, don't be like this." She pleaded, a single tear leaking out from the corner of her eye, carrying with it a trail of black mascara. Ted didn't turn.

"Mom," he said breathlessly. "I don't care what he says. I care about what you say, at this point, and I _don't _ hear you saying that you forgive him. Now, I may be only thirteen-" at this point, he reached his room and faced her. "-but I do understand that the term 'affair' which is everywhere is the most stupid, horrible thing a person can do, apart from a few other stuff. So, basically, if you forgive him and get back with him - which I hope to God doesn't happen – then, I will consider reconciling with him. But until then,_ I do not care what he says or thinks._

"I'm sorry if you don't like that, but you must understand that I'm doing this because I am angry that he hurt you. I saw it everyday in the morning in your face, the look that said that that you weren't happy. Now I realise that he was the reason for that. I don't want to be associated with any man who makes you sad."

Ana stared at her son, more tears unwittingly falling from her eyes. She looked down at him and said, smiling. "For a thirteen year old, you are pretty articulate. Do they teach you that at school? Effectively conveying the point?" Teddy didn't smile back.

"No. I learnt it from watching you and _dad _on television." He said, his face twisting into an unpleasant grimace when he said the word 'dad'.

"Teddy, please don't hate him. What happened is between him and me. I don't want this. I don't want to ruin your relationship with him. Why do you think I never told you all this while?"

Teddy looked at her hard. "I need some time." he said, closing the door of his room. Ana didn't want to be a bawling wreck. She felt weak, felt like a sissy when she cried. She breathed deeply a couple of times and drank a glass of water, refusing to break down. When she became stable, she was proud of herself.

She whipped out her phone and dialled Christian's number. He picked up on the second ring. "An- Ms Steele." He said, some unidentifiable emotion in his voice.

"I told Ted. I never wanted this. I still despise you to an extent but I didn't want Teddy to despise you. He became really angry and he… he said… he said he didn't want to meet you again, until I forgive you." She said. There was silence on the other side. Somehow, she could picture him squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose as he used to during any crisis.

"That's going to be never, I expect." He whispered. "Thank you, for telling me."

"Grey, just… just don't insult his intelligence by pampering him with materialistic gifts. You can't make up to him that way."

"I didn't intend to." He sounded surprised. "Christ, I know I've been an ass, but I think I know my son well enough to handle him in such situations." There was the condescending tone again. The marine carnivore rose from its long slumber.

"Not well enough to not anger him by not cheating on his mother and abusing her, I think." She said lightly. This was the first time she spoke of the abuse out loud. She kept the phone down angrily. The snarky, arrogant bastard. She wondered about his statement about the never forgiving him part. She wondered if he was right, because every time she saw him, she did feel like jumping his bones, but she could also see the belt cracking from his hand into the silence of the night.


End file.
